The Door Girl's blog: "My Strange Mind"

This last week has been long and tiresome for me. I had my life flash before my eyes a few times, thinking how I wasn't ready, how this is too soon and I have to do something. I can remember a lifetime full of shit. I realized that it's all been struggle and fight to stay afloat and it seems like no matter how hard I try, I am always at the bottom of the pit, climbing that infinite ladder. Sometimes I am just so tired and want to give up the climb, stop fighting, point my toes up and push daisies. Other times I am just... I can't stop the fight no matter how shitty it is.

Today I am indifferent. I've been stuck on bed rest for a week and in a drug induced haze so I don't feel the excrutiating pain, and I've wanted nothing more than to do the things we all take for granted... Just... functioning.

That's all I really want is to function.

So you think I am fat? Oh well. Guess what? I am. Why is this your problem? Oh, well... It's not.

Have you ever lain in bed, half asleep, and you're so tired that nothing can stop you from conking out... That is... until something cold and airy, but distinctly solid feeling wraps around your foot and gives it a good yank? I know, I know, sounds particularly crazy to you sceptics out there, but I am no sceptic, so bite me, Anyway, so I have had too many experiences that leave me going, "wtf" because there was at one time that I was a skeptic. I always try to figure out what rational explaination I can find for something happening, and a good majority of the time, I can't find a blasted explaination.

For instance, I used to work at a famous night club in Louisville (Rest in Piece, Phoenix Hill Tavern) that is no longer open for business, and I saw some things there that excited the shit out of me as a nerd, but left me going "WTF?" still. Like seeing a full bodied apparition... That was probably the most mind boggling thing ever, because you see it and then you think you are looking at someone, but you try to get a better look and nobody is actually there. Yet I saw the distinct, yellow shirt, one that looked just like the security guards would wear, and I looked over only so see there was nobody there and they certainly did not have time to exit that hallway.

It was the single most exciting day of work for me. It was my last day at the club and it was like they were sending me off. That building is so very active at any given time. Most of the time, you wouldn't have noticed because there would always be music playing from one of the live bands, or there were generally a lot of people, depending on what event was going on. It was when it was quiet that you noticed things a bit more.

I'd heard footsteps, literally saw the floorboards moving like someone was on them, heard disembodied vouices in the coat room my first week of working there, been shoved, been touched, had a bathroom stall slam shut behind me when I was the only one in there, heard laughter, had my hair pulled, saw a co worker get messed with, saw the aparitions, lights, walked through cold spots on summer days, had my shit moved or disappear, only to find it back in my office another time.... Etc... One of my co workers even got locked outside on the roof........ But there was no lock on the door.

That is just one of the places that I will forever remember as being spooky. My life as I know it is filled to the brim with unexplainable shit, and I don't care if I come across as crazy because I know what I experienced and you weren't there.

Got a story?

Feel free to share it.

I have been having these vivid dreams that I am smoking pack upon pack of cigarettes. It bothers me a bit because I wake up tasting the smoke in my mouth and wanting a damn cigarette, but I quit and I am sticking to the plan. Have you ever had those rather vivid dreams of a nasty habit you are trying to get out of, and you wake up thinking it really happened or get the phantom feelings like it did?

Ugh. I wish it would just stop. It's madness, damn it! MADNESS!

Hopefully it will ease up on me.