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I MISS YOU

It has been a year now since you passed away and it feels like it was just yesterday that I last talked to you.  It is your birthday and I cant help but sit here and think about how much I miss you.  We were the closest any brother and sister could ever be and before you passed away we were the last of the kids in our family.  Now it is only me left and I feel so lost without you.  I miss being able to call and talk to you when I'm feeling down and out.  I know the pain of losing a loved one never fully goes away and right now it feels like it will never let up.  I wish you were here right now cuz i could really use your help sis.  You were my best friend for 29 years.  In my eyes you will always be my best friend and advisor sis cuz i know that you are with mom and the rest of the family watching over me and trying to take care of me.  I just wish that I could see you again and hug you one more time but I know that will only make me want more of the same.  I love you Diane. Please give mom and the rest of them a hug and kiss for me and tell them all I love them and miss them.  I love you all. Please keep watching over me and my family.

i miss you sis

Well for starters, my sister just passed away this past year a few days after my birthday.  She was taken from us by a heart attack that was caused by her diabetes.  She had been fighting to live for over 29 years.  She had both legs apputated within the past year or so due to the lack of blood flow to both legs.  She was also fighting cancer and needed a kidney transplant.  It took us forever to get her to finally quit her job and worry about her health.  She hated the idea so much but she finally gave in to all of us.  

Her and i were as close as a brother and sister could ever be.  Yes she was older then me by about 18 years or so.  She helped to raise me and would even take me on the weekends so that my mother could rest while my father was working all the time.  When mom died back in '99 my sister stepped up and took our moms roll in my life.  She did things for me that most sisters wouldnt do for a brother.  She did the best that she could to take care of me and keep me from commiting suicide after mom died.  Anytime that I needed money for rent or bills or anything else for that matter she was always right there to help me out if she could.  When I left to go into the Army she worried about me all the time no matter what i told her in letters or phone calls.  Honestly, that was more then what my dad ever did.

This past Christmas was very hard for me since I wasnt able to go see my sister.  We always looked forward to the holidays cuz that was the one time of the year that we knew for sure we would get to see each other.  Now that we are in a new year and my birthday quickly approaches, I am deffinetely not lookin forward to it.  I know that she will always be with me so long as I carry all my memories and love for her in my heart but that doesn't make things any easier.  My sister was the last family member that was my best friend.  I love you sis and i miss you oh so much.  I wish you were here with me right now....

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