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am i even alive

am i even alive all this pain i hide away all these feelings i supress inside all this fear you created i am everything you have left behind i gave you all me and you gave me nothing i gave you everything that i had i believed you wanted me maybe i was the fool maybe i wanted to believe maybe i wanted to be loved and all i got was deceived are you proud of what you have done look at what i have become just a shell of a man so dead inside hollow to the world am i even alive

my awakening

you look so deep into my soul and see who i really am from you i cannot hide so in you i confide i am so scared and alone bound by my fears and blinded by all these tears so tired of being here hiding these scars away from the world waiting for these wounds to heal to you i have become an open book i am awaiting your touch, to bring me back to life will you walk with me till i am able to stand alone you bring fire to this empty soul you have brought to life this feeling inside, awakened everything i no longer need to live this lie i am no longer dead inside you have opened my eyes and showed me this world wiped away the tears and subdued my fears so in you i find my strength and i have nothing to hide so with you my heart shall always resides

i love the way

i love the way i love the way you love me, i love the way we kiss, i love the way you hold me, i love this feeling i cant resist. i love the beautiful things you say, i love the way you look at me, i love you more everyday, our love was meant to be. i love the way you make me feel. i love the excitement you give. i love the life we live. you've opened my eyes to a whole new world. one i never new was real. you love me for my good and bad. and through the ups and downs. all these things are true. so for this i thank you

is this life

If life is so good, why does it hurt so bad. If life is so wonderful, why am i so sad. If life is so beautiful, why do i feel so ugly inside. If life is so full, why am i so deprived. If life is what you make it, then i have made a mess. If life is to be learned, then i have failed this test. If life is a new start. when does mine begin. If life is so precious, why do i want it to end.

truth be told

truth be told i said i loved you, but i lied. i said forever side by side, i told you i cared, yet your emotions i denied, now i watch you cry, though its all in vain, for i feel nothing for your pain, as i walk away and you plead with tears of sorrow that i ignore, your love was my toy and with it i got bored, for you did not interest me, it was the chase that i adored. in you i found pleasure, be it only carnally inticed, but now i move on to become someone elses vice. i will blame you, for it's all gone wrong. you smothered me, you dont trust me, your friends are in the way. all lies i will tell you to ease my walk away. truth be told i never really cared it was those hidden pleasures that i truly wanted to bare. yet you gave it to me so trustingly. and i lied so well it comes naturally. my words and charm, and subtle deceit, oh how they paint a picture of wonders and joy. i can be everything you ever wanted and all youll ever need. but once i concour you, i will leave to be free. to break a heart and deceive some ladies trust. for my only true love is that of lust.

dirty things i love

dirty things i love i love the way you look up at me. when your down on your knees. i love the way you beg for more. as you taste my disease. i love the way you scream. while you writh on top of me. i love the way you move your ass. and the way your body grinds. i love the way you hair smells. while im pulling it from behind. i love the way your passion tastes. as drops of you run down my face. i love the way i make you moan. when im deep down inside. i love the way you never say no. yet you pretend to be so shy. i love the lack of self respect. and the things you let me do to you. i love the way you let me press my luck and love it every time we fuck.

my little girl

my little girl you were my only passion for life, my only reason in this crazy world to go on, you brought meaning to this life, you were my everything, my existence revolved around your every little breath, i brought life to you, and you gave life to me. you gave me joy every moment your tiny feet walked this earth, to see you smile, gave me such a rush let my heart jump a beat and to hear you cry broke it, you changed everything in my world, gave it new meaning everything i thought and felt before you, meant nothing and could never compare to what you showed me. around your tiny little finger you had me wrapped, and in your eyes i saw my world. and in just one moment in time my world crumbled, and now i feel nothin, a cold memory has been put in place of my heart, i am lost to the world, disconnected from this coil, i have become hollow, my only reason died with you, i seek your face in my dreams, and we play for hours, your laughter oh god your laughter, you crawl in my arms all content saying daddy im tired as you slowly fall asleep, but as i awake with uncontrollable tears i call to you as i hold my pillow, knowing i will never hold you agian. i remain forever tormented by your absence, i search for reasons to go on yet, i found only sorrow in your absence, times seems to be my enemy and rage my only friend. so quickly you were taken from me, my baby girl. all i have are memories much to few, but they are all i hold onto waiting to once again kiss your cheek and tell you you are my reason. and when my final sun sets and i am laid to rest, i will see you playing and with tears in my eyes i will call to you and hold you in my arms once agian.

forsaken

as the wings of demons burn with flame and the gates of hell come crashing down as evil thrives in the hearts of man and blashmese spew from the mouths of babes as hell has been unleashed on earth the day of tribulation has begun as you beg for mercy and find none you cannot accept this fate as your own and yet with in you lives the evil that has been poured out upon man as you pray to your fallen master and fall to your knees at the alter of the damned and cry to your god of hate the father of lies and master of deceite and you find that there is no comfort among the decieved while you scream have i been forsaken

as i bleed for you

slowly as i bleed for you giving all i have till i have bled through as you slowly push the cold steel burns inside from my eyes falls these tears i cried by your words i have become crucified as the venom drips from your tongue you have perverted these truths till my world became undone i become gripped by this fear i am drowning in this sea of tears my deepest and darkest dreams have become so real all this pain that i am forced feel i have become a slave to your misery i have become a shadow of what i used to be i am beyond your prayers

suicide, "an apology".

suicide, "an apology". i wash away the thoughts of you so i dont lose my nerve i take another drink as i drowned out all the pain i know i cant keep going on i dont think i can take another day its so hard to say goodbye but so easy to slip away i hate myself for the things i said and for the things i never did for the things i never got around to doing and the things ive done to you for all the pain i gave and the joy i took away for all the times i lied to you and the times i should have i hate my self for all the mistakes i made time and time agian all the times i never listened to you when you took the time to care for all the time that i wasted expecting you to always be there i hate myself for every time i broke your heart and the way im leaving you now i never ment to hurt you or to cause you any pain but i cant live with myself knowing the things i have done so erase me from your memories brush the tears from your eyes find what your looking for this is my last goodbye
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