- I will remember to put on underwear before opening the limo door
- I will finish saving up to get the Right Said Fred tattoo lasered off
- I will buy my wife an expensive gift
- I will listen more closely the next time she explains what the nanny cam is for
- I will not shout "Yahtzee!" every time a light turns green
- I will not invade another country to try to get Jodie Foster's attention
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