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xxangelbabexx's blog: "My poetry"

created on 04/10/2007  |  http://fubar.com/my-poetry/b72629

To BE you

As I pour my blood down the drain I slit my wrists to hit every vein to think it would kill me to ease my pain I would give anything to have your fame to get what you got in which I don't own I am the unfortunate all left alone I only ask to be wanted and have love and affection but what I get is everyones simple rejection you act so hard done by but really your not I would give you anything To live the life you got but simply you don't see thats you've gone so far anyone would dream to live the life of a star you got the personality and the good looks I'm just the nerd with all the books YOu don't know me or what I've been through I'd do anything to be you

I can't live without you

I can't have you but I want you I can't hold you But I would do anything to be in your arms I can't keep you but I would love to be with you forever I can't kiss you but I long fro your kiss and touch I can't hug you but I would love you to hug me and never let go I can't be with you Because I'm with someone else I can't talk to you but if I could we would talk for hours on end I can't look at you But if I could I would get lost in your perfection I can't love you even though I already do I can't think about you yet your on my mind 24/7 I can't want you Although I need you to live

my attempt at a song

Pushing me away (5) Is not the right way to take? (7) Everyone makes mistakes (7) Even you (4) Not letting your feelings show Gets me feeling low I will just have to go Away from here Cuz I Can’t take this any more So I walked out the door And now I’m gone And now I’m gone I’ve tried to put myself to blame And take away the pain It’s just not the same Anymore But I Have tried day and night To have to see the light And try to live my life But I can’t

A Learning Experience

Life’s Challenges. One day I woke up like any other ordinary day, with My Mom yelling in the background “ Get Up for School or else your not going to be going to work tonight.” Sounds like any ordinary life right? Wrong? My life is far from ordinary. I live in a weird family who doesn’t have any respect for one another and who intrude on people’s privacy/ life and a mother who takes her bad days out on everyone else in the family. Everyday seems like a bad day for her. All I hear when she gets home is how much of a mistake I am and that she wishes she never had me as well as her always calling me a failure. All the blame goes on me. What she doesn’t know is how much she’s hurting everyone around her including me. I’m the only one who stands up for themselves , and EVERY TIME it causes it causes this huge fight and more insults. It results in nothing. The only thing that becomes of it is sadness or in my case depression. She caused my depression for over a year. Pretty sad huh? Your own mother who gave birth to you and is supposed to love and care for you caused your depression. What does this mean? Does it mean she doesn’t love and care about me? Does this mean that I me... mean... nothing. At least that’s what I thought. Ever since I was twelve and got my first period, she favored my brother over me. She doesn’t blame him, its ONLY me. When he does something bad, she lets him off with it and then when it comes to me she’s got no sense of forgiveness. “Grounded for two months,” she’d say, just because SHE said so. My brother would get off Scott free. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of this favoritism, and I’m sick of being her punching bag. What she says does nothing but hurt me. I’m sick of her trying to prevent me from accomplishing my hopes and dreams. I’m sick of it! When did I deserve this huh? When did I? I have no answer... I can’t come to terms with My Mom, she’s too different and sometimes I feel so much hate and anger towards her that I want a different mother, and wish that I didn’t have this family... or this life. All I wanted was a family to love me. I’ve realized that I do have that. I’ve come to accept that this is my family. I am proud to be in this family. They are there to love and care for me, even though we have our fights. No family is perfect. Nor am I.

I try...

Im not perfect no one is but thats what u expect from me I make mistakes everyone does but you yell at me when I do I try my best to make things right just like most people but its never good enough for you i try to follow your rules like every one does but im the only one you punish when a rule is broken I try my best to show you respect like everyone deserves but I never get any from you in return I try my best to be responsible just like others but you never give me the chance I try to make decisions on my own just like others but everything has to go your way or no way. I try to give my opinions that everyone has a right to do but you always take my rights away I try to grow up like every one does but all you do is baby me I try to be reasonable like everyone does but your just so selfish its your way or nothing I try my best to do everything in your favor and all I get is your disapointment Everything I do isnt considered So maybe I should give up in trying to please you Because nothing is ever good enough for you.
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