Just Meee's blog: "My Life, Outside 'The Box'"

created on 12/30/2007 | http://fubar.com/my-life-outside-the-box/b173006

posted on 03/26/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;10:03&nbs-07:00;pm

My Personality and Disability
http://fubar.com/my-personality-and-disability/b173006-689748

I have always naturally been silly, and known to have a stash of 'smart-assed' remarks. And also a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease. hahaha Seeing people smile and hearing them laugh has always brought a bit of joy to a dreary day. Tho there are times when simple laughter could set me into a rage of anger or tears. As life goes on, I have realized this has gotten worse. And is accompanied by memory loss, along with a few other symptoms that raised some flags. So I have taken the steps I needed to, and sought medical help. There are medications to take, and Therapists to see. Along with a Psychiatrist who is really an awesome person. He takes the time to explain things to me in simple terms so that I can fully understand what is going on. I have been seeing him for about a year now and he has helped me to understand alot about my Illnesses.

The medications so far dont work very well. I have been on several in the last 5 years, with many different outcomes, each having it's own different side effect. I am now only taking 2 medications, (Celexa and Valium) for my 'psychotic episodes' as I call them. And even sometimes the valium doesn't do when I have an anger explosion, because it is not fast acting. The faster acting pill makes me feel hungover, so I dont take them anymore. Basically there is nothing much I can do but bare with things as best I can, and avoid stressful situations. I am not supposed to drive, I can't tolerate being in crowded public places such as WalMart or the grocery store, etc... So I try to go during the off hours for crowds. I have had the police called on me many times, for throwing things around, cussin folks for having gossip meetings in the isles. And I am likely to have them called again. I have some pretty bad episodes too. And lots of different things trigger them.

So what illnesses do I have? E.A.D. (explosive anger disorder-the medical facts for this is in my 'Would you like to know more about Meee' blog) I also have Obsessive compulsive disorder, severe anxiety disorder, major depression, and am on the verge of being bi-polar. I have tried anger management, but it dont help when you dont know what causes your anger. In the end my friends, if I seem pissy, it is likely something that has been stewing in my mind for so long it has started to boil. hahaha Please dont take any offense to my moods (I have many, and will set my status accordingly). Or I will simply take a break for a while.