Smigster's blog: "My odd thoughts"

There are times in our lives that make us enter the realm of the unknown. We begin to see the other side of ourselves at this point. There is no turning back at this point, no u-turn. The path is set before us is hard and extravagantly rocky with all the pressures of outside influences. Some make it to the end, others do not. How we navigate and learn in this unknown abyss makes us more aware of the opposite side of life. We rarely see any influence that shows us a good way to crawl through this, but they are out there. There are songs, people, movies, and books that make the journey less desperate than it is. Focusing and surrounding yourself with these make all the jolts of pain and the face plants less than what they would be without them. The trek is something to be aware of, and if, only if, you make it out, are you wise enough to say you have lived.

There are dreams and hopes in this world of unpronounced faults and failures. I had one, I saw it as clear as day in the darkness behind my folds of skin. It fell as the days and years past, I could not stop the trend, the forsaken fall into my horrible reality. Greatness is what we all want, no matter the disturbing or glorified obscure scene it is. How can one hold onto anything worth being held upon the folds of falling roses or the grace of a feather from an angel’s wing? There is no failure in seeing the dreams or trying to live them, but how is one to feel anything when all one wants is greatness without a path? There are so many roads, so many to choose from… There is no one thing anyone person is great at, to choose and make that one road yours is to make all the forks and turns insurmountable to attain. We all want the greatness but to have the greatness of all is what deep down we all want. If one could traverse the labyrinth between all aspects of life and understand all things good and evil, then what would there be beyond that to achieve? Or worse, would one want to achieve any more than that after the time and persistent grind to achieve such a horrific and yet beautiful feat?

A million souls have vanished before I met you. Time was irrelevant and pain full when my eyes were open. I never understood what it meant to go forth when the sun rose. Then one day my life changed in an instant. Whirling and turning, I found one thing to grab and hold on to. I could not stop the change nor did I want to. Life and time seemed to reach deep into my heart and show me that everything wasn’t so bad. When my life ends I can say that I have something that not everyone has. Most of what I feel and think of is what you have done to me and that…. is love. Sunrise and sunset, I can only portray what tomorrow holds and hoping and praying that it is you. You are the symbol of why everyone wants to live. No matter the undeterminable odds I will fight to be with you.