I don't know what to do with myself anymore. My love life is so fucking ridiculous.
For the life of me I can't figure out why I continue to let myself hold onto something that I can't even say whether or not is still there.
The obvious thing for me to do would just be to move on, but that's not as easy as everyone thinks. It's easy for people on the outside of things, but it's not that simple. I wish it was.
I know I have options. I know that I could just go out and get someone else but I know that right now my heart would not be completely into it. I'm past the point in my life where I just want something for the sake of having it.
I just have no want or will to persue anyone or anything right now, no matter how effective that may be in taking my mind of things. I just know it's not the right thing to do.
The possibility of having what was lost is too tempting. I just wish I could be stronger.
WTF.
