It was a warm fall day and perfect for the last lawn mowing of the season. I was visiting my mother and she asked if I could mow her yard, which happened to be three acres, for her. I hopped onto the riding mower and briskly did abou eghty-five percent of the lawn. The remaining portion of the lawn was an embankment along the edge of a state road, so I got the push mower ready and then decided to take a quick break.
In retrospect I am so glad that I did, due to the fact that it would be the last time I would remember seeing my children and my then pregnant girlfriend for the next two or three days.
As I walked outside I remember thinking how lucky I was, not knowing how true that statement would become later that evening. I got the lawnmower and began to finish the lawn. Somewhere close to halfway done I guess I decided to take a nap. I remember dreaming about being in a bed when a gentleman decided to come along and wake me up. He proceeded to inform me that I just so happened to have been struck by a pick-up truck, flipped in the air, was thrown roughly fifty feet or so, stood up, sollapsed, and finally passed out. I only remember the nap.
I amazingly almost remember the helicopter ride that allowed me to visit the Lehigh Valley Hospital. Once I got to the hospitalI was already high on morphine and in and out of conciousness. From the time I got there to going into emergency surgery I could have sworn it only took about a half hour or sowhen in reality it was about four hours.
I kept telling everyone my left leg was broken, and no one cared. Apparently my internal bleeeding and the three centimeter hole in my intestine was just a hair more important. The funny thing about that is one is not allowed to have any metal jewelerly during surgery, and I happen to have many body piercings. They had gotten everything out of my face and nipples and they were asking if I had anymore. I actually remember smiling with a morphine-induced glow and simply stating "Mr. Happy." It took them quite some time to figure how to get it out, ha-ha. That's all I remember about my life saving surgery.
The next day I do not remember anything at all. According to my mother I was awake, but I was unaware of that. The third day was not much better, although I do remnember that I kept getting x-rays and such.
The third day was a landmark day because it was the second time I almost died that week. The second day I had developed pneumonia, and by the third day my lub=ngs had filled with fluid. My immediate care doctor, who I later learned was an intern, had me sign papers for a an emergency bioscopy. Afterwards, my mother informed me that the papers I signed was a waiver just in case I had to go on a respirator for the rest of my life, simply wonderful.
The fourth day marked the day they finally decided to x-ray my left leg. Later in the day while my mother was visiting, she spilled a glass of water all over my blanket and took it off toget a clean one. She happened to notice my right leg, which was twice the size of my now proven to be broken left leg. I love interns. This means they never even looked at my entire body, I strongly recommend the Lehigh Valley Hospital.
Throughout my entire two week staywith this particular hospital, they fixed my elbow which I lost a prtoin of from road rash by using Neosporin and gauze, did absolutely nothing for my broken portion of my spinal column except telling me to lay still, discovered I was born with a heart defect, a had a dual knee surgery which put a screw in both knees.
Later on that month during my first follow up appointment, my trauma doctor informed me that I got very lucky because most people die in similar situations die, and that if he would have taken roughly a half an hour longer, my intestine would have started leaking causing my body to poison itself resulting in my death. What a grand way to die.
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This was writen by myself recounting my tragic but proven to be hilarious "death". I posted this to celbrate my four year anniversiary which was at the beginning of the month. Please feel free to tell me what you think. If only death could always be this amusing.
