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Your Love- Your love has been my rock even when I couldn't see it.
Your love for me is unconditional,
so strong that it now consumes me.
If only I had seen your love before ending up in here,
was blinded by so many things.
I lost sight of your love.
Your love for me is so amazing,
your heart pours it out.
One day I hope to show you the same love.
I have abused your love in so many ways,
the only thing I can say is "sorry".
I know that you forgive my mistakes but,
know I have so much to fix.
Gotta start with your broken hearts.
Your love is so amazing,
I thank you each day.
It has become my rock once again,
now that I see clear.
I love you with all of my heart,
hope that I can prove it.
I know it takes time so please be patient.
I will not let you down this time.
Your love is my rock, so strong, solid.
It now consumes me.
Without your love my world would be broken,
I would have no hope left.
Your love is so amazing.
Hurt & Love- Sorry for hurting you in all the ways I did.
I'm sorry for the heartache I caused you,
by walking away.
I wish that I could take it back,
regret it every day.
Keep playing it over in my mind,
my heart a lil broken.
You took a piece of my heart,
when we went our separate ways.
Left an empty space.
Can I get it back? Try again?
Your love was something I should have cherished.
Miss it more with each day.
Wish that I could feel your touch,
your arms holding me tight.
Wish that I could feel your kiss every day.
You used to keep me warm and safe,
now I'm all alone.
Hope one day I will get it back.
Time will only tell.
It is up to you and fate now.
Leave it in your hands.
Can only hope for what the future will hold.
Dream about you day and night.
Sorry for all the ways I hurt you.
I'm sorry for all the heartache I caused you,
by walking away.
Hope that you forgive,
hope you really care.
Can't take any more heartache,
sitting here in this jail.
Scared of so many things right now,
want you by my side.
Please tell me how you feel,
so I can rest my mind.
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The days & nights-The days go by more slowly
without you by my side.
The nights drag by minute by minute with no hope of sleep.
Each day passes by with the world on my shoulders,
doubts in my mind.
Questions unanswered run in circles,
over and over again in my mind.
These walls keep on getting closer in on me.
The nights are restless, no sleep in sight,
the same worries as the days.
Now I think and dream of better things,
or at least I try.
I hope and pray that this will all end soon.
That I will be hearing them call me name one last time.
The days go by more slowly
without you by my side.
Sorry- So sorry for all the pain, all the tears.
So sorry for using and abusing you.
I have caused so much pain in such a short time.
Have been causing it for so much longer,
longer than I imagined.
Caused so many tears,
abused your love and trust.
So sorry for leaving you behind my baby girls.
So sorry for not loving you the way you love me.
I left you and not for any good reasons,
just to be selfish.
I thought by leaving you I was loving you but,
I was only hurting you.
So sorry for everything I have done the past two years.
Living my sad, miserable,fucked up life.
I have screwed up so badly.
Hurting those I should have loved and cherished the most.
You mean so much to me,
begging for your forgiveness, please?
So sad and lonely here by myself.
Again I beg for your forgiveness.
Please let me fix all that I have broken.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
Hope that you love me back.
I'm so sorry.
My Baby Girls- My baby girls you are my world,
you are my life.
I wish I could kiss you goodnight.
To read with you, tuck you in, watch you sleep at night.
Say a prayer that you are safe til the morning light.
Baby girls I miss you so,
please forgive me for not saying goodbye.
Wish I could be with you now.
Baby girls I would give anything to see you now,
hold you close to my heart and never let go.
I love you with all of my heart.
Hope one day you understand it was me who let you down,
when you needed me the most.
Baby girls I am so deeply sorry for hurting you.
My reasons for leaving are foolish,
wish every day I could take it all back.
If only I could turn back the hands of time,
change the past.
I love you my baby girls with all that I am.
My baby girls you are my world,
you are my life.
I wish I could kiss you goodnight.
I hope that I will see you soon,
without you my world is dull.
You are my joy,
my light.
I miss you more with each passing day.
Can't wait to see your beautiful faces,
feel your love, your hugs.
I miss you my baby girls more than you may ever know.
Miss you my baby girls.
I love you Payton Faith and Elizabeth Grace <3
Lonely- So lonely in here even though there are so many.
So lonely without you here with me.
Each day I grow more lonely with you by my side.
Loneliness will drive me crazy before my time is done.
So lonely without you my baby girls,
wish I was with you.
So lonely without your love,
it breaks me down so slowly.
I hate being away from you,
it kills me more each day.
One day I will be with you again,
cherish every moment together.
So lonely here even though there are so many.
So lonely without you here with me.
Loneliness will slowly kill me until I am outside these walls.
No love here on the inside.
Can't expect forgiveness from those that I have hurt.
I know that my family loves me but,
won't talk to me because of all the pain.
Each day I grow more lonely.
Looking forward to the future now.
So lonely.
True Love- I thought that I had true love with you but,
find that I was blind.
True love is very hard to find,
hope to get the chance one day.
Need to heal from all this pain that you have caused.
Heart broken into a million little pieces.
I wish that I had not fallen,
that I had not opened up to you.
But, though we had true love this time around.
The only true love that I have found is from my baby girls.
I threw it all away not knowing it at the time.
I wish, hope, pray that I can get it back.
Without true love, life is a very lonely world.
Looking back I was so selfish,
leaving you behind.
One day I will be able to show you what true love can be.
My baby girls you will always be the true loves of my life.
Questions- There are so many questions running through my mind,
so many questions gathering over time.
So many questions I have yet to answer,
so many left in my heart.
Want to run and hide for all these questions,
they are crowding my mind.
I want to ask you so many questions,
no hope of getting answers.
Guess I will forget you and them slowly over time.
I wish that I could forget you right now,
my heart won't let you go.
On the outside my family has so many questions,
wish I had answers.
No good explanation to the crimes I have done.
So many questions running through my mind,
so many questions gathering over time.
So many questions I have yet to answer,
so many left in my heart.
All these questions driving me crazy.
Want to run away and hide from all these questions,
building up with time.
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Time- Time goes by so slowly, drags on minute by minute, second by second.
Seconds seem like minutes, minutes like hours, hours like days.
On the outside time would fly by without a care in the worlds; hours like minutes, minutes like seconds.
Days would go by so quickly and it would soon be night, time to go to work.
Being locked up gives you lots of time to think about things, from small to big.
If you don't stay busy the time will drive you crazy. Looking at the same faces each day, at the same walls. I hope this is the last time I have to be here, my only time.
Time has taught me that all good things must come to an end.
No more playing silly games, work in the outside world.
Just time to think about all the things that were said and done.
Time goes by so slowly, drags on minute by minute, second by second.
Time is so precious and now has become a waste.
Just hope that I can heal all the wounds and heartache.
All this I have caused and done in such a short time.
Crazy- These wall are driving me crazy, seeing them each moment of each day.
You close your eyes just to open them again to these same walls.
The time is driving me crazy, can't go fast enough.
It drags by so slowly, not knowing what each day will bring.
Not knowing what the future will hold.
Each day I feel as if I am growing more crazy.
All the thoughts running through my mind.
Anger, hurt, love, confusion; don't know where to turn anymore.
Can't run away anymore from all the craziness.
Gotta face it and put up a fight.
Not gonna let it control me anymore.
Will not let it lead my life down the wrong road, again.
Still these walls are driving me crazy, seeing them each moment of each day.
Maybe it will get better in time.
Only time will tell,
as I slowly go crazy in my mind!
Missing You- Missing you each passing day,
wishing and hoping that I will hold you again soon, safe in my arms.
Missing you deeply, wishing I could turn back the hands of time.
It's driving me crazy now that I am far away.
Hoping you don't forget me, all the fun things we used to do,
the mad love I have for you.
Missing you each second of each passing day.
Wishing I was there with you instead of locked away.
I am sorry that I am not there with you and sissy,
but I can't right now.
Missing you with all my heart and soul,
praying that you will forgive me.
I regret all the days we have been apart and hope
that your love will remain the same; unconditional.
Missing you each passing day,
wishing and hoping that I will hold you again soon, safe in my arms.
Watch you grow, keep you safe, learn with you.
Missing you.
Twisted Love- Love is crazy, love is blind,
this I have learned in such a short time.
Love will blind you so you only see the good,
only see what you wanna see.
Love will lead you astray at times and lead you down a path of
destruction and hurt.
Love can be amazing when your heart is in it but,
it can also destroy your heart in return.
I have grown to know that love can take such a strong hold on your heart,
it is amazing.
Love can make you do a lot of things, good and bad.
Love can hold you close, make you feel safe.
Or it can tear your heart to a million little pieces,
when you let it in too close, too fast.
There are many kinds of love with each a different meaning.
Love will drive you crazy, make your heart pound.
Make your head spin in a million different directions.
Love can be so dear and close to your heart.
The love of a child will never compare to any other kind of love.
It is unconditional without limitations.
But,
over time I have found that love is crazy, love is blind.
Why?- Why am I in this horrible place? What did I do?
I know the answers just don't wanna face the truth.
So many questions have yet to be answered on the inside and out.
But, can't bear the truth of the answers I know.
Why did I let you close to my heart?
Why did I give you my unconditional love?
I don't know why I let you have my heart this time.
Thought things might be different than the times before.
No more though, tired of being so heart broken,
not once but two, three times.
My heart is in pieces trying to heal from you.
why did I leave you my baby girls?
Why was your love not enough for me?
At times I though it would be best for me to be away but,
now I regret it every single day.
Now I see that your love is my world,
wishing every day I will be with you again soon.
Why am I in this horrible place? What did I do?
I know the answers, just don't wanna face the truth.
Trying to run away, knowing it is wrong to do.
Going to have to face them while I'm serving this time.
