I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month now and we've been having alot of fun. We went out, we stayed in, he even got along great with Nicole(which is a must). But as things progressed, I became a little bit uncomfortable with the rate at which the relationship was going. Ok so no biggie. This guy and i talked, and agreed that it was going a little fast for both of our liking; that he was starting to like me a bit more than I liked him. His emotions were just going a little faster than mine, which is quite different for me. We decided to back off from each other a bit and just continue being friends. Although he says he's ok with it, I know he's a little hurt to know that I did not have the same amount of feeling for him as he did me. I feel like he feels led on. And now as I think about all of this more and more, I think maybe I'm scared. Scared of what?? I dont know. I know that the last guy who i honestly and truely loved did not really know me and accept me, for me. I thought and wanted to spend the rest of my life with this guy. He was one of the very few guys my family liked and approved of, and his family like me. And i guess with the new guy, finding out my family loves him, kind of threw me for a loop. He and i still talk alot and even got lunch today. So even though i definately enjoy his company, I know that our break is probably the best for the both of us.
Now, I very very much want to settle down with the guy who i plan(and hope) to spend the rest of my life with and start a family. But considering how things have always worked out in the past, I'm quite hesitant. I thought I wanted to be able to still date around and keep my options open. Thinking that maybe I'll be able to find the guy who wont get sick of me, lie to me, or any of that other crap. But I dont know if that what I want either. The only thing I do know for sure is I want to be happy. Truely happy. But I guess i dont know how and I am so afraid of making yet another mistake.
