"My Heart Soul and Dreams"
Death runs through my veins
and seeps into every crack
Poisonous injection slowly flows into my mind
darkness invades my soul and torments my brain.
Knowing that I am going to die
and feeling the presence of the other side.
Though I stand here before this evil
with this blade in my hand
I know it will take me over all in due time.
Shadows lurking behind closed doors,
spirits crying out to be set free.
Sadistic images enter my mind
cutting and slaughtering innocent lives.
Death envelopes me slowly
creeping up from behind.
Only time holds back the demons from hell.
Crawling and scratching up from the earth
to find another soul to shred apart.
Though the time is near
I will feel no fear.
I stand here before this evil being
feeling it's power trying to consume me
not realizing what it is doing.
Sometimes I wonder, what is the point
living but not loving.......
Wanting to be with the person
I love the most.
I lower the steely knife
down to my wrist
wanting all the blood to flow.
Knowing when I cut
the life in me will go.
I look to the heavens and pray above
to give me the strength to go on.
Feeling the same pain day after day
knowing that demons possess my soul.
All the creatures lurking about
trying to get me down to hell.
Wanting and needing he that holds my heart
but there is only one way for us to reunite.
This eerie voice keeps calling my name
beckoning and calling
for me to join him somewhere.
Into the shadows I can see him there
holding out his arms and drawing me near.
The blade slowly grazes the veins that pulse with life
wanting to be cut so I'll be with the night.
Some say this is done by the sick
others say it is to stop the pain.
every night it enters my mind
to stop all the pain I feel inside.
Calling louder and louder to join this force
drawing me in deeper and deeper until
I can almost feel icy fingers embracing me.
Some may say I am sick, others demented.
To feel such pain is what my aching heart longs to be set free of.
The time is drawing nearer
as my eyes gaze down upon this small cut
in which size it will grow.
God almighty please come down
and protect me from this evil for which I am bound.
The redness seems darker as it drips to the floor
cutting yet deeper into the bone.
I know in a short time, it will all be over.
This demon from hell will have possessed another.
The light it seems is starting to dim.
The blackness starts to crawl and seep in.
The knife I drop to the floor,it has done it's job
there is no need for more.
All of my happy memories seem to flood through my mind
crying for me to stay here on this earth from which I was born.
My lover is calling for me to come nearer, wanting to go
but scared of the night.
Why wouldn't someone help with the pain?
I've cried to the almightily to ease this heartache.
Sometimes I think he listens other times not
for the pain still lasts and cuts like this knife.
Why did it all have to end this way?
I wish it would all just go away.
My eyes they grow heavy and my sight grows dim
images of a place full of sin.
Time seems so still and quiet all around
while I lie here dying my thoughts turn to him.
Is it really you that I see, or an image of another man fallen and demented.
He keeps calling my name ever so gently
as he holds out his strong arms to hold and embrace me.
I know he loves me for he has told me so, wanting and needing
to hold me close.
I am not scared for we will be together.
Our love will grow strong and never end.
I can no longer feel my body staring up in empty sight.
Wanting no one to mourn for what I have done.
Only knowing how I feel inside.
There seems to be a light up ahead, my lover there stands
waiting for me.
My soul has left my body and I am now dead
going to another place where I have never been.
My hand reaches out to his in the light
knowing we are here to reunite.
I cry out inside and try to turn back
but he holds me close and says there's no turning back.
I feel comfortable numb as he guides me away
to a place I've never seen and long to be set free........
~Deborah Lynn~
