As some of you know my brother Brian made a really bad choice and killed himself on Dec. 26th. He found a real perminent solution to some temporary problems and hurt alot of people who knew and loved him including his 9 yr old daughter.Telling her what happened last night almost sent me over the edge and i cant even begin to describe the pain in her cries and how much they to this moment haunt my consciousness. Last night alot of our friends came to my place to support me and console me and even friends here on fubar have been helping me through what is with out a doubt the hardest fukking thing i've ever had to deal with. I cant even begin to explain how horribly damn empty i feel inside and wish so bad i could just wake up and find that this was all just a bad fukking dream. Brian was one of the most energetic and happy people ive ever known and i admired his ability to bring others around him up when times were hard. I'll never understand why he did it and no-one including me saw it comming. Perhaps i should have payed closer attention to my little brother. Thank you all for being there for me. I love you little brother and im going to miss you with all of my heart.
