Ok so I'm kinda pissed off. I used to meet guys on line and they never worked out. So about 6 months ago I get introduced to a guy who is friends with my neighbors. He was definitely a hottie...all american looks, blonde hair blue eyes nice body...an electrician. So, after a couple of months of flirting around we decide hey lets try this dating thing. And we did. Of course we had to deal with his schedule. His company sends him out of town a lot. But he always called me...every night. But things started to change. The first was when he cancelled our date because he was stoned. I knew he drank and smoked pot. Back in the day he did hard core stuff but he cleaned himself up with the exception of pot. Even that he didn't do all the time though. So anyway, he knew I didn't like him smoking pot and he would chose to get high and cancel dates with me. Ok so now my family throws me a surprise 40th birthday party. He's supposed to bring me. He had to work late but he promises me(after I show up at the party) that he will show up after he gets home. Never does. But we still talk....for a couple of weeks. Then he decides to stop taking my calls. Next time i see him its a month and a half later. We have it out. But in the end he tells me that he misses me and wants us to try again..this time as friends first then hard core dating later. I agree. Then he stops talking to me again. A few weeks later he calls...telling me how much he misses me....then disappears again. I found out a couple of weeks ago that he is now into hard core drugs again and hanging out with really shady people. He's been evicted and almost lost his job. I know he is a loser. But somewhere, deep down in my heart...I can't stop loving him and I don't know how to get over him. We had some good times...and some really great times. He did tell me he loved me and I believed he really did. I can't help but think that he's a lost soul and he needs help but I don't know how to give it to him. So I stay away. No sense in getting caught up in a dangerous situation. But I am afraid for him. So I just pray for him and hope that he can clean himself up.
