So to start off with, most of you know but I will refresh the memory of those who don't remember...lol. So December of 2007 I finally left my children's father aka sperm donor. I finally get fed up with his lies and cheating and decided it was time to move on. Not only for me but for my children also. Now after this he kept in touch for about a month or so. Missed the girls 1st birthday, their first words, their first anything and everything. It has now been about 9 months since I had talked to him last and I get a phone call out of the blue!!
I answer the phone and he asked in a voice like everything is peachy and we are the best of effing friends, "Do u have Affidavits of Parentage for all the kids?" I said yes (please, what mother doesn't..lol) and why?? He says he is at the Army Recruiting office right down the street from my house and they need them so he wanted me to bring them to him. :-o I laughed and said "Wait...Are you serious?" He says, "Yeah, I may be signing up for the Army and they need them to put them on my insurance." So right away I KNOW something is up. Is is trying to get something from me or more bonus money by claiming the kids but I also know that if I didn't bring them to him that he could have gotten them himself anyways. So I pack up all the kids and my mom and I drive up there to bring them to him and I find out that he is trying to join the Army and want to add the kids as dependents even tho he has not been around or in their lives in almost 9 months. I was curious so I asked him why all of a sudden he wanted to join the Army when he couldn't even handle the Navy? He says he has nothing better to do with his life and no one to stay here for. lol....now ladies....what is a man trying to get when they say this! PLEASE!! lol! He than says he wants the kids to never have to worry about anything ever again when it came to medical issues. Since when did he care?? I couldn't take no more lies. I just had to tell him what I was thinking so that was when I said, "NO, it is cuz u get a bigger bonus for joining if u have dependents and we can never see a dime of that either. Besides the fact that you will not have to worry about child support cuz they will not make you give it to us or take it out of ur check!" He starts to shovel me more bullshit but since we were in front of soldiers I didn't really wanna get into it than and there. So a few hours later we leave and he asks if he can come visit tomorrow. I say, "yeah, whatever."
He actually came over to visit the next day with his sister which was nice but than he got into the whole "I want my family back" bullshit that I have heard one too many times!! After that ridiculous conversation was over...lol...he asked to take Jake for the night. I out right laughed and told him no. He begged and pleaded like it would help. But yet again I said NO! He said "Come on" like he could actually still control what I was thinking...lol! So to stop the conversation cuz I knew he wouldn't give up I said maybe tomorrow and left it at that. He started pitching a fit and giving Jake hug after hug and even started to tear up. Like he really even gave a damn!! I felt kinda bad but DEF not enough!!
So the next day much to my surprise I get another phone call. I told him after thinking it over I really don't think it is a good idea sorry!! He seriously didn't understand why and maybe I was wrong but the way that I figure it is even tho he is their father by blood he is a complete stranger right now because he has been gone for almost 9 months and I have no clue what he has been doing! I don't know what he does everyday drug wise anymore, I don't know who he hangs out with, where he goes. I mean I knew nothing about him and he expected me to just hand my child over to him like he was unimportant to me. Back when I left me was getting into drugs pretty bad and getting violently drunk almost every night. That was not an environment I wanted my son to be in. Let alone the fact that they all (4 adults) chain smoke in the house in front of the kids. Again, not something I want my son to have to go through. I mean not only do I not know any of this shit but also he lives about 45 minutes and 1 hour away from me. No way in hell am I gonna let him take my son that far when he has no license even if someone else is driving. So I tell him that he can come over to see him again whenever he wants to. I told him to come over today again. And he has the audacity to say to me that he doesn't have the gas money to come visit again. :-o Oh but wait, you wanted to drive here and take my son and drive home. So if you do not have the gas money to come to visit how r u gonna have the gas to bring him back to me. It was right than and there that I knew it was never gonna happen cuz than I got scared that I would never see my son again. I mean wouldn't you think ahead to make sure u had the gas to make it back and forth both times!! But no, he either was gonna call me the next day to say he couldn't bring him back or I had to come get him. WTF is a mother supposed to do??
He than started saying that his parents want to see him to. Now this whole effing time he never said a word about the girls. Didn't care to want to bring the girls anywhere and really never even acknowleged that they existed!! This is just not right! He goes into the fact that his parents never did anything wrong to not be able to see thier grandchildren. I chucked and said, " I never said they couldn't come over to see them. They are more than welcome anytime they want to come see thier grandchildren." He says, "No other grandparent has to go somewhere else to see thier grandchildren. They are usualy brought to them. When we had our own place ur parents or my parents had to come over to see the kids." Of course they didn't but that was when WE had our own place and we had vehicles. I have no car let alone no money even if I did to put gas in it. Am I wrong? I mean I am not keeping the kids from them at all but why do I have to bring the kids to them? Can someone please let me know whether I made the right choice or I am thinking the right way?? Please HELP!!
