LittleWing's blog: "My Blogs"

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices > that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. > > She asks him why he is staring. > He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to > offend you" > > She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old > as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance > to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's > nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." > > "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." > She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: > #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." > > The cab driver is very excited and says, > "Yes, I'm single and Catholic! > > "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." > The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a > hooker blush > > But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts > crying. > > "My dear child," said the nun, why are! you crying?" > "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm > married and I'm Jewish." > > The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a > Halloween party."

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL. THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE." THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, "YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!" "DEAD?" SAYS HIS FRIEND, "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER." HIS FRIEND SAYS, "I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH." "A HALLOWEEN WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW!

----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: BUZZ_in_EXILE Date: Oct 17, 2006 7:06 PM TONIGHT 10:00pm CST (8:00pm PST) I will MELT YOUR FACE WITH METAL!!! BE THERE... LISTEN and OBEY PITBOZZ RUFFHOUSE

Helena, you're Sweet 'n' Sexy You're not overt about your sexuality, but you're not purposely hiding it either — two traits that naturally draw people to you. You possess an understated zest for life, and a way of approaching the day with a can-do attitude that draws people to you. As a teenager, were you maybe a little on the quiet side? Even if you weren't, it's clear that underneath your occasionally understated statements, you have an undeniable sweetness that attracts people who see that special something burning from within. Is it the way you carry yourself? That quiet sparkle in your eye? Those who know you intimately can't wait to uncover your sweetness. What's hiding behind that innocent smile? A little devil perhaps? A tattoo in a seductive spot saved only for your lover? Possibly, but you're so good, you'll never tell. Or will you?

Helena, a Romantic Gesture turns you on Hey there, sweet thing! In affairs of the heart, your pulse pounds at the tender and enchanting moments. While you may not have it all mapped out just yet, the fairytale ending is what you're after and romantic gestures are a sure way to give you butterflies. It might be sweet notes, a bubble bath for two, a surprise getaway to your favorite B&B, or even just an extra spin around the block listening to your favorite love song. Whatever it is, romantic moments (and the thoughts behind them) turn you on. Sure, brains are important, a sense of humor is attractive, and you never said there was anything wrong with sexy underthings, but it's how your partner expresses their feelings for you that really lights your fire. How romantic!