Rock is dead, deceased, gone.
We can agree, right? Good.
The day of the guitar hero, of 20 minute drum solos on 200-piece kits, of righteously believing it when Roger Daltrey cried "Long Live Rock!"
Grandmaster Flash hammered the first nail, Nirvana dragged the rotting corpse, and culture itself dug a deep, dark gravesite.
Which mean it's time to get nostalgic about nostalgia. It's time to recreate the experience of classic classic rock radio - before it played U2 and R.E.M. and dabbled in System of a Down.
What follows are five albums you need to buy right now if you home to think you know what the classic rock experience was about. Forget the lava lamps, the tie-dye, the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Dylan, Springsteen, Hendrix - even the Who. Classic rock radio was not proud, and it wasn't encumbered by quality or genuine classics - though all of hte above acts are staples of classic rock radio. Waynes's World got it right: it was about guys in old cars with questionable taste and so much repetition, one might actually start to believe ELO was as important as the Stones.
FOr the sake of young listeners who think there's no 70's in their own CD collection, I've included a contemporary alternative to ease them into those high times:
-Boston- "Boston" (1976). Pop-inflected, fueled by Toledo native Tom Scholz's bright guitarlicks, the "Thriller" of classic rock, with every song in rotation. Also so plastic it sounds concieved by robots and music industry executives. The epitome of arena rock (though the band rarely toured). A 2006 alternitive: Built to Spill's arena-perfect "Perfect From Now On."
-Cheap trick- "At Budokan" (1979). A subset of the classic rock era was the live-album era. Kiss' Alive II might be more representative of the excess of genre, but "Budokan" captures the grandstanding thrill of a big show at a hockey rink, the Are-You-ready-to-Rock of it all. A 2006 alternative: Hold Steady's rollicking "Seperation Sunday."
-Led Zeppelin- "Led Zeppelin II" (1969). The quintessential classic rock album: indulgent, varied, packed with air-guitar riffs ("Whole Lotta Love"), over-the-top sexuality, and a hint of the blues. A 2006 alternative: Sleater-Kinneys's riff-heavy, start and stop chugging "One Beat."
-The Allman Brothers- "Eat a Peach" (1972). A grab bag of pastoral acoustic tunes, never-ending jams, with a roadhouse stomp for suburban kids who dreamed of their own shotgun shack. A 2006 alternative: Wilco's Double-Live "Kicking Television: Live in Chicago."
-Pink Floyd- "The Wall" (1979). What would classic rock be without a concept album, easily pulled apart into massive emotional, operatic tunes, with a dose of the experimental? Not the best Floyd, but the band at its paranoid best. A 2006 alternative: Radiehead's angsty "Kid A"
