Boondock Saints, The (1999)
Doc: Why don't you make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here?
Rocco: Shut your fat ass Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without running into nine guys you fucked!
Paul Smecker: Okay Duffy, have any theories to go with that tie?
Conner MacManus: Jesus! He brought a six-shooter! Murphy MacManus: There were nine of them, you retard! What were you going to do with the last three, laugh them to death? Funny man?
Murphy MacManus: You and your fucking rope.
Monsignor: We must always fear the wicked. But there is another kind of evil that we must fear the most, and that is the indifference of good men. Conner MacManus: I do believe the monsignor's finally got the point. Murphy MacManus: Aye.
Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink ships! Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's got to go. Doc: What? Conner MacManus: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, right? Murphy MacManus: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
[A Russian gangster comes into the bar] Murphy MacManus: So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team.
Paul Smecker: Brilliant! So now we got a Huge Guy theory and a Serial Crusher theory.
[After Smecker proves the Boston detectives wrong] Paul Smecker: We'll start the ass-kissing with you.
Paul Smecker: That's all we need: some sensational story making these boys out to be superheroes triumphing over evil.
Il Duce: And no man shall shed blood, but by man shall his blood be shed.
Yakavetta: The 90's are killing me. I shouldn't have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're gonna kill him no more. Taking all the fun out of the job.
Paul Smecker: You know, you Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing.
[After finding a suitcase full of cash with the dead mobsters] Murphy MacManus: The hits just keep on coming. I love our new job.
Rocco: They can suck my pathetic little dick, and I'll dip my balls in marinara sauce so those fat bastards can get a taste of home while they're at it!
Rocco: I killed your cat! I thought that it would bring closure to our relationship!
[After Rocco shoots three men in a coffee shop] Murphy MacManus: Kind of liberating, isn't it? Rocco: You know, it is a bit.
Paul Smecker: Greenly, the day I want the Boston police to do my thinking for me is the day I will have a fucking tag on my toe.
Yakavetta: He's happy now, just killing us one by one. And worse, he's good at it.
Rocco: This guy takes out a whole family -- wife, kids -- like he's ordering fucking pizza.
Paul Smecker: So you're telling me it was one guy with six guns, and he was a senior frigging citizen?
Murphy MacManus: There are many forms of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the boundaries into true corruption, into our domain.
Murphy MacManus: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Conner MacManus: How far are we going to take this? Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed?
Conner MacManus: It's the real deal, Roc. Evil men, dead men.
[After Rocco fondles an unconscious woman's breast] Conner MacManus: What the fuck are you doing? Rocco: I'll tip her!
Murphy MacManus: We're sorta like 7-11. We're not always doin' business, but we're always open. Conner MacManus: That was nicely put.
Yakavetta: The 90's are killing me. I shouldn't have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're gonna kill him no more. I got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. Taking all the fun out of the job.
Il Duce: Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The Three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God.
[After Rocco gets his finger shot off] Rocco: Feels like it's still there. Conner MacManus: Yeah, well it's not.
Paul Smecker: Television is the explanation for this. You see this in bad television. Little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling--that James Bond shit never happens in real life, professionals don't do that!
