Clifford Mayem's blog: "Stuff"

Monday, November 06, 2006 Blogity blogdigidy Current mood: calm Category: Life Just a quick blog here. People wondering if I fell off the face of the Earth and shit. I am still in Peoria. Will be back sooner or later. Everything is fine. I am doing the usual. Guitar, books, music. Hanging out with Amy watchin' movies alot. Just the usual stuff I do regularly. So don't worry all. I be fine. I know how much ya'll worry about me. I am sorry that I did not get ride the Zipper at the Fall Fest with Quentin this year. Last year we went around in a circle like some 16 consecutive times. It was a trip. Then we got off and I puked all the beer up that I drank right before getting on. But I moss ya'll and i look forward to seein' ya'll again, hanging out in the E-Town, and down at Hammerheads. So see ya soon. -C- 4:12 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Tuesday, August 15, 2006 Libertarianism Current mood: horny The key concepts of libertarianism have developed over many centuries. The first inklings of them can be found in ancient China, Greece, and Israel; they began to be developed into something resembling modern libertarian philosophy in the work of such seventeenth- and eighteenth-century thinkers as John Locke, David Hume, Adam Smith, Thomas Jefferson, and Thomas Paine. (1) Individualism. Libertarians see the individual as the basic unit of social analysis. Only individuals make choices and are responsible for their actions. Libertarian thought emphasizes the dignity of each individual, which entails both rights and responsibility. The progressive extension of dignity to more people -- to women, to people of different religions and different races -- is one of the great libertarian triumphs of the Western world. (2) Individual Rights. Because individuals are moral agents, they have a right to be secure in their life, liberty, and property. These rights are not granted by government or by society; they are inherent in the nature of human beings. It is intuitively right that individuals enjoy the security of such rights; the burden of explanation should lie with those who would take rights away. (3) Spontaneous Order and the Civil Society. A great degree of order in society is necessary for individuals to survive and flourish. It's easy to assume that order must be imposed by a central authority, the way we impose order on a stamp collection or a football team. The great insight of libertarian social analysis is that order in society arises spontaneously, out of the actions of thousands or millions of individuals who coordinate their actions with those of others in order to achieve their purposes. Over human history, we have gradually opted for more freedom and yet managed to develop a complex society with intricate organization. The most important institutions in human society -- language, law, money, and markets -- all developed spontaneously, without central direction. Civil society -- the complex network of associations and connections among people -- is another example of spontaneous order; the associations within civil society are formed for a purpose, but civil society itself is not an organization and does not have a purpose of its own. (4) The Rule of Law. Libertarianism is not anarchy or hedonism. It is not a claim that "people can do anything they want to, and nobody else can say anything." Rather, libertarianism proposes a society of liberty under law, in which individuals are free to pursue their own lives so long as they respect the equal rights of others. The rule of law means that individuals are governed by generally applicable and spontaneously developed legal rules, not by arbitrary commands; and that those rules should protect the freedom of individuals to pursue happiness in their own ways, not aim at any particular result or outcome. (5)Limited Government. To protect rights, individuals form governments. But government is a dangerous institution. Libertarians have a great antipathy to concentrated power, for as Lord Acton said, "Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Thus they want to divide and limit power, and that means especially to limit government, generally through a written constitution enumerating and limiting the powers that the people delegate to government. Limited government is the basic political implication of libertarianism, and libertarians point to the historical fact that it was the dispersion of power in Europe -- more than other parts of the world -- that led to individual liberty and sustained economic growth. (6) Free Markets. To survive and to flourish, individuals need to engage in economic activity. The right to property entails the right to exchange property by mutual agreement. Free markets are the economic system of free individuals, and they are necessary to create wealth. Libertarians believe that people will be both freer and more prosperous if government intervention in people's economic choices is minimized. (7)The Virtue of Production. Much of the impetus for libertarianism in the seventeenth century was a reaction against monarchs and aristocrats who lived off the productive labor of other people. Libertarians defended the right of people to keep the fruits of their labor. This effort developed into a respect for the dignity of work and production and especially for the growing middle class, who were looked down upon by aristocrats. Libertarians developed a pre-Marxist class analysis that divided society into two basic classes: those who produced wealth and those who took it by force from others. Thomas Paine, for instance, wrote, "There are two distinct classes of men in the nation, those who pay taxes, and those who receive and live upon the taxes." Similarly, Jefferson wrote in 1824, "We have more machinery of government than is necessary, too many parasites living on the labor of the industrious." Modern libertarians defend the right of productive people to keep what they earn, against a new class of politicians and bureaucrats who would seize their earnings to transfer them to nonproducers. (8) Natural Harmony of Interests. Libertarians believe that there is a natural harmony of interests among peaceful, productive people in a just society. One person's individual plans -- which may involve getting a job, starting a business, buying a house, and so on -- may conflict with the plans of others, so the market makes many of us change our plans. But we all prosper from the operation of the free market, and there are no necessary conflicts between farmers and merchants, manufacturers and importers. Only when government begins to hand out rewards on the basis of political pressure do we find ourselves involved in group conflict, pushed to organize and contend with other groups for a piece of political power. (9) Peace. Libertarians have always battled the age-old scourge of war. They understood that war brought death and destruction on a grand scale, disrupted family and economic life, and put more power in the hands of the ruling class -- which might explain why the rulers hve not always shared the popular sentiment for peace. Free men and women, of course, have often had to defend their own societies against foreign threats; but throughout history, war has usually been the common enemy of peaceful, productive people on all sides of the conflict. It may be appropriate to acknowledge at this point that it may be your suspicion that libertarianism seems to be just the standard framework of modern thought -- individualism, private property, capitalism, equality under the law. Indeed, after centuries of intellectual, political, and sometimes violent struggle, these core libertarian principles have become the basic structure of modern political thought and of modern government, at least in the West and increasingly in other parts of the world. However, three additional points need to be made: First, libertarianism is not just these broad principles. Libertarianism means action and actually applies these principles fully and consistently, far more so than most modern thinkers and certainly more so than any modern government. Second, while our society remains generally based on equal rights and capitalism, every day new exceptions to those principles are carved out in Washington and in Albany, Sacramento, and Boston (not to mention London, Bonn, Tokyo, and elsewhere). Each new government directive takes a little bit of our freedom, and we should think carefully before giving up any liberty. Third, society is resilient; it can withstand many burdens and continue to flourish; but it is not infinitely resilient. Those who claim to believe in libertarian principles but advocate more and more confiscation of the wealth created by productive people, more and more restrictions on voluntary interaction, more and more exceptions to property rights and the rule of law, more and more transfer of power from society to state, are unwittingly engaged in the ultimately deadly undermining of civilization. Here are some really cool sites to visit: Dennis Leary vidoe: Asshole http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=6WiV2fyvRbs Funny Asshole video (Not vulgar.) :http://filmstripinternational.com Colorgenics: http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm Deep Thoughs by Jack Handey: http://farstrider.net/DeepThoughts/Handey.htm Ripley's: http://www.ripleys.com/ Web Junk: http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/webjunk_20/series.jhtml Flaming text: http://www3.flamingtext.com/net-fu/jobs/200512886.html Chuck Norris Facts: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/index.html Read this book: http://www.atlasshrugged.tv/ Objectivism: http://www.objectivism.net/ Ayn Rand: http://www.ayn-rand.com/ http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer Libertarianism: http://www.libertarianism.com/ Libertarianism-A Primer: http://www.libertarianism.org/ Try this game. It gets more fun after a while: http://www.winterrowd.com/maze.swf Boys Beware: http://youtube.com/watch?v=A5VNe9NTOxA&search=homosexual Exploding cigar: http://www.explodingcigar.com/ Offbeat news: http://www.cnn.com/offbeat/ MSN Spaces: http://spaces.msn.com/cliffcoultas/ Independent Puppies and Kittens: http://www.superlaughecards.com/1/independent2.htm The Laughing Psycho Kitty: http://www.superlaughecards.com/1/catnip.htm The Ebonics Translator: http://www.joel.net/EBONICS/translator.asp Jive turkey: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jive turkey&b=1 Daily Rotten: http://www.dailyrotten.com/ Homestarrunner: http://homestarrunner.com/ MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/coultas777 Department of Humor Analysis: http://tbshumorstudy.com/main.html Guzer: http://www.guzer.com/ Junior Brown: http://www.juniorbrown.com/ Brian Setzer: http://www.briansetzer.com/ Steve Vai: http://vai.com/ 3:15 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Monday, August 14, 2006 You might live in Indiana if.../Okay.I can't help taking these quizzes! Current mood: quixotic Category: Life If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there, you might live in Indiana. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Indiana. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Indiana. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Indiana. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE HOOSIER WHEN: 1. Vacation means going north or south on I-65 for the weekend. 2. You measure distance in hours. 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again. 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events including weddings. 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them. Unless her name is Kaitlin. 9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snow suit. 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, & It's Hot. 12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. 13. Down south means Kentucky to you. 14. A brat is something you eat. 15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed. 16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday. 17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car 18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly." 19. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Indiana friends. 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Your partner is always pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek or more passionate embrace. super markets and work places are your favorite places to attack your loved one with all your love =p Take this quiz! http://quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=17&url=http://www.quizilla.com/users/ghettokitty/quizzes/What kind of kiss are you?">quiz! > http://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=18&url=http://www.quizilla.com/" target="quizilla"> http://www.quizilla.com/images/codepastes/30qzlogo.gif" style="padding:2px;" /> Quizillahttp://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=18&url=http://www.quizilla.com">Quizilla> | Joinhttp://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=21&url=http://www.quizilla.com/register">Join> | Make'>http://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=20&url=http://www.quizilla.com/makeaquiz.php">Make A Quiz | More'>http://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=42&url=http://www.quizilla.com/users/ghettokitty/quizzes/">More Quizzes | Grab'>http://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=19&url=http://www.quizilla.com/codepastes/?quizid=63926">Grab Code 3:19 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Thursday, August 10, 2006 Life is good Current mood: peaceful Well my last few days in Evansville for a while were pretty cool. To make a long story short I went and bought a new guitar. So that night I restrung it and stuff and played until the wee hours of the night while me and a few friends downed a few beers. Well more than a few. The next morning I was not feeling too good. I realized that I spent a little too much money on beer and felt a little depressed. So I figured that I would feel alittle better if I ate something. I went to big top and I was really in the mood for a grilled cheese, chilli, and a Diet Coke. As I was finishing up my meal, in walked this lady and her kid with Coke bottle bottom glasses. He looked like a character. I was just reading the newspaper and the kid asked me if I played guitar and stuff. He, his mom, and I chated about my music and stuff for a few minutes and as I was saying goodbye the kid patted me on the shoulder as if he were saying everything will be okay. That little happening brighted up my morning and made me feel alot better. Then I came across a few guys at Fulton Park, one of which I knew a litte bit. He asked me what was up and offered me a beer. I gladly obliged and he started questioning about the guitar and stuff. So I showed them that I am a badass on guitar and one of the guys asked me if I cold roll. I had not smoked pot for a long time but I figured what the Hell. I didn't see it as a big crime and it seemed like a perfect time. So as we shared a doobie one of the three guys (I forgot his name and the other one with the pot I will not mention.) said that the guys with the pot could play guitar also. He also said that he wrote some songs that were really good and really funny. They tried to get him to play but he said something like "Naw naw naw. I ain't that good. Bla bla bla." So I told him "C'mon. I learn alot from guys who know even just a few chords." You see I am more of a technical player. But after we finishes the joint he said "Lemme see that guitar." He played some of the funniest songs I've ever heard. He played one song about Stepping Stone (A rehab center in Evansville.) and one about a bridge bum and how he always finds himself under the bridge drinking (I know all about that.) and a few other songs. I was rolling! My god this guy was funny. When I go back to Evansville I am going to look these guys up. I want to record this guy or get the lyrics and do the songs myself. I mean he was that good. He said he never recorded them or anything and I don't know why. And then this sweet kid hands us out these Pixie Stix. Nice gesture. This kinda made it hard for me to leave Evansville and come to Peoria. Not really but it did have a tug on me. That place was a hangout for a few of the guys and the guitar playing guy with the weed said he had to go and meet up with his girl. He rode one of those old people scooters and had anhuge umbrella duct taped to the back of it and had a git 'r done license plate on te front. The reast of us just tooks naps. We were stoned. It was a nice cool day and all so I laid my backback down as a pillow and took a nap. Then my friend Donald called and asked me to go to the Drive-In in REO. I wrote "Who is John Galt?"and "Donald Mayes is a jive ass turkey." on the picnic table. And then here came the guitar playing guy with the weed with his "ol' lady". She had a similar scooter that I guess he afro engineered for her. It was cute. So we talk for few more while waiting on Donald to pick me up. I told him that I hope to see him again so we cold play guitar and stuff again. And that night Donald, Amy, and I had a pleasant night at the drive in. Went to see Talladega nights. That night I got pretty schlozzered. Had a good night out though. Wanted my last night in Evansville for a while to be a good one. The next day I went to Peoria, IL to come and see Amy Demoss. We first met in high school, had been talking for a few months on the phone and exchanging messages. Left just like that. We got to know each other pretty well decided that we should meet again. We really didn't know each other cause she was shy and I was too in high school. But we seemed to get pretty close. So now I am here in Peoria sitting here with her being a whiny butt cause she wants to see the computer. So the rest is up to your imagination. I gotta go now though. She wants the laptop. 12:57 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Tuesday, August 08, 2006 Chivalry/Peoria, IL Current mood: horny Yes, I really believe all that chivalry stuff. In our time, you cannot seriously ask other people to think that you believe in honor and truth, and the purity if the body, the defense of women, the sanctity of true love, and all the rest of it. But I really believe it. By the way, I am in Peoria, IL. I may be here a while. I will blog soon about my last few days in Evansville and a few other things. My last week in Evansville was great. I met this guy who played my guitar, some kind kids, and had a good time partying with my friends and musicians and stuff. But I like it here and all is well with Cliffy. Due to the constraints of time I must cut it short. Tell ya all about it later. -C- 4:44 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Tuesday, August 01, 2006 The Primitive Sergeant Current mood: horny Category: Writing and Poetry There was a first time for everything. At some point, every custom, every practice, every ritual had to be explained to people for the first time. It must have been tricky, especially in primitive societies. For instance, the first human sacrifice. Not of the enemy, but of the first ritual killing of a member of your own tribe. Someone had to announce it to the people. Someone with authority, but probably not the top guy. A sergeant, addressing a band of early cave people-hunters, gatherers, whatever-explaining the human sacrifice. Of course, first he would have to get his other announcements out of the way. "OK, listen up! You people in the trees, you wanna pay attention? The guys in the bushes, would ya put the woman down? All right. Now, is everybody here? Andy, check the caves. Make sure everybody's out here. And Andy,... don't wake up the bears! OK? Remember what happened last time. We can't spare any more people. "OK, a few things I wanna go over, them I'm gonna tell ya about somethin' new. Somethin' we haven't tried before, so I don't want ya to be nervous. I know ya don't like new things. I remember last year a lotta people freaked out when someone came up with the wheel. People went nuts! They said, Well, this is it, it's all over, it's the end of the world, bla, bla, bla. Then somebody pointed out that we didn't have any axles. I think it was Richie. He said if we really want to invent something special, we outta come up with the axle. I guess you're always gonna have a coupla wise guys. " But anyway, we went ahead and made a coupla hundred of these big stone wheels, which is kinda stupid when you think about it. The only thing you can do with 'em is roll 'em down the hill. Which isn't such a top notch idea. I think the people who live at the bottom of the hill will bear me out on that. "OK, movin' along here. It has come to my attention that some people have been drawin' pictures on the walls of the caves. Pictures of bulls, antelopes, a coupla horses. I think I even seen a goat on one wall. Listen, lemme tell you somethin'. It might seem like fun to you, but it looks awful. If ya can't keep the place clean, maybe ya don't deserve a nice cave. Ya don't see the bats drawin' pictures on the walls, do ya? No. They hang upside down, they take a crap, they don't bother anybody. "You people don't know when you're well off. Maybe ya'd like to go back to livin' in the trees, huh? Remember the trees? Competin' with the baboons and gibbons for hazelnuts and loganberries? Degrading! So there'll be no more drawin' on the walls. Coupla thousand years from now, people are gonna study these caves. The last thing they wanna see is a lotta horse pictures on the walls. "OK, continuin' on. As some of you mighta noticed, last night the fire went out. Coupla the guys on guard duty were jackin' around, playin' grabass, and one of 'em, Octavio, the short guy with the bushy hair. Well, one of the guys with the bushy hair. Anyways, Octavio fell on the fire, and the fire went out. Unfortunately for Octavio, he died in the incident. Unfortunately for us, he was the only one who knew how to light the fire. So we're gonna have a contest. The first guy to get a fire goin', and keep it goin', wins a prize. It's a hat. Nothin' fancy. Just a regular hat. The kind with earlaps. "OK, next item. We're startin' to get some complaints from the women about dating procedures. This mainly concerns the practice of clubbin' the women on the head and draggin' 'em back to the cave by the hair. They would like to discontinue this practice, especially the hair part. It seems some of them go to alot of trouble and expense to fix up their hair for a date, and they feel the draggin' had a negative effect on their appearance. As far as the clubbin' is concerned, they'd like to eliminate that too, because what happens is a lot of 'em have an enjoyable date, and they can't remember in the mornin'. Movin' right along. As you all know, it's been our practice when we find a new plant that looks good to eat, we test it on the dogs to see if it's poison. Does everyone remember the berries we tested on the big brown dog? How many ate the berries simply because the dog didn't die that day? Quite a few. Well, I got bad news. The dog died last night. Apparently it was slow-actin' poison. Yes Laszlo? You didn't eat the berries? But this mornin' you ate the dog. Well, Laszlo, ya got about a week. Food chain! How many times do I gotta tell you people? Food chain! By the way, anyone who's gettin' into that new cannibalism crap-I won't mention any names-I'd strongly suggest not eatin' Laszlo-or anyone else for that matter. "All right, now we gotta talk about the Hated Band of Enemy people Who Live in the Dark Valley. As some of ya might know, they snuck into camp last night and stole a bunch of our stuff. They got those sticks we were savin'. They got the rocks we piled up near the big tree. And they also took sixteen trinkets; the ones we got in a trade with the Friendly Bent-over People from the Tall Mountain Near the Sun. I think it was them. It was either them or the Guys with the Really Big Foreheads Down by the River. Anyways, as I recall, we came off a cool two hundred animal skins for those trinkets, and frankly the Chief and I think we got screwed. By the way, speakin' of screwin', they also stole several of our women last night. Along with a couple of those sensitive men we've been usin' as women. "OK, a new problem has come up that we're gonna have to deal with. It concerns the growin' menace of the people chewin' the leaves of the dream plant. It's gotten completely outta hand. At first it wasn't so bad. After a long day of huntin', or gatherin'-whatever-people would chew a couple leaves to relax. Recreational chewin'. No harm, no foul. But then some guys couldn't leave it alone. They would chew way too much and lose control. Some of them became verbally abusive. Of course, they couldn't help what they were sayin'. It wasn't them talkin'. it was the leaves. But, hey, nevertheless. "Then we found out some people were chewin' on the job. Not only endangerin' the lives of their co-hunters or co gatherers-whatever-but also lowerin' the amount of food we acquire, while somehow, at the same time, greatly increasin' the rate of consumption of their own food. One of the gatherers, a short guy with bushy hair, I think it was Norris, got whacked outta his skull on leaves last week, and he came home from gatherin', with a grand total...get this...a grand total of six berries and one nut. And this guy had been out in the bushes eight days! "But now we're runnin' into an even more serious problem. It seems that some of the people are chewin' the leaves and then runnin' around in circles at high speed. As a result we're startin' to get a huge increase in the number of accidents. People are crashin' into each other. Please! Try to remember. Chewin' and runnin' around in circles at high speeds don't mix. If you're gonna chew run around in circles, don't chew; and if you're gonna chew, for God's sake, don't be runnin' around in circles. Designate someone. "So try to be aware of the signs of leaf abuse. If you're chewin' in the mornin', you got a problem. If you're chewin' alone you got a problem. It's no disgrace. Get some help. Say no to leaves. "OK, now, like I said earlier, we got a new thing we're gonna be doin', and I wanna announce it today. It's gonna be a custom. Remember customs? Who can name a custom? Nat? Goin' to sleep at night? Well, that's close, Nat. That's almost like a custom. Who else can name a custom? Killing the animals before we eat them? OK, Jules, that's more like a necessity, isn't it? More like a necessity. Lookin' for a custom. Another custom. Dwayne? Washin' the rocks and dryin' them off before you throw them at the enemy durin' a rock fight? Well, I guess that wouuld explain the disproportionately high number of rock injuries in your squad, wouldn't it? Anyway, this new custom is quite different, and it might come as somethin' of a surprise to ya, so make sure you're sittin' down. Or at least leanin' on somethin' firm. You people standin' over near the cliff, you might wanna drift over this way a little. "Now. I want ya to remember that no matter what I say, this is gonna please the Corn God. OK? [Slowly, as if to children] The new custom...is gonna help... with the corn. Remember a coupla years ago we had no corn, and we hadda eat the trees? And a lotta people died? How many wanna go back to eatin' the trees? OK, I rest my case. Yeah? Dwayne? You thought the trees were pretty good? Ya never disappoint me, me Dwayne, ya know that? Folks, ya don't have to look very far for a tragic example of abusin' the dream plant, do ya? "All right, here's the new thing we're gonna do, it's called a human sacrifice. Each week, too appease the Corn God, we're gonna kill one member of the tribe. All right, calm down! C'mon, sit down! Hey! Hold on! Hear me out on this, would ya? Just relax and hear me out on this. We're gonna start havin' a human sacrifice every week, probably on Saturday night. That's when everybody seems to loosen up pretty good. So startin' next Saturday night, about the same time we run out outta berry juice, we're gonna pick one person, probably a young virgin, and we'll throw her in the volcano. All right, girls! Please! Siddown! Please! Stop with the rocks!! Calm down, ladies. We're not gonna do it today. I promise. Relax. "OK, so we throw the virgin in the volcano. By the way how many remember the volcano? Remember the fire? Remember the lave? What word comes to mind when we think about the volcano? Hot! Right. The volcano is hot. What's that, Dwayne? No. No way. If this idea's gonna work at all, it's gotta be done while the volcano is actually erupting. I don't think the Corn God is gonna be impressed if we throw some chick in a dormant volcano. It's meaningless. I think he's lookin' for somethin' with a little more screamin' involved. "OK, so we throw the virgin in the volcano. What's that? How does this help with the corn? Good question. Look, Morley, I just make the announcements, OK? I'm not involved with policy. It came down from the high priests, that's all you need to know. This is one of those things you just gotta accept on faith. It's like that custom we started last year of cuttin' off a guys head to keep him from stealin'. At first it seemed severe, am I right? But ya gotta admit, it seems to work. "OK, one last point: You say, Why does it have to be a young virgin; why can't we throw a wrinkled old man in the volcano? Lemme put it this way. Did y'ever get a real good, close look at the high priests? OK. Once again, I rest my case. "Now, the only problem we anticipate with this new custom is the distinct possibility of runnin' out of virgins. Ya gotta figure best case scenario we're not gonna see any corn till late next year, so it looks like we're gonna be waxin' virgins at quite a clip. And hey!...girls, don't take this the wrong way...but we don't have many virgins to begin with, do we? Ha-ha-ha-ha!! No offense, girls! Really! No, hey, you're very lovely. "Well, that's it folks. Thanks for listenin' Good night. Walk home slowly. And walk safely. In case you didn't notice, the sun went down, and it's completely fuckin' dark." 7:07 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Brillo Current mood: horny My girlfriend says her friend's boyfriend trims his pubes, and now she wants me to do it. I'm not a macho dude, but this doesn't seem like the kind od thing a man does. Am I being unreasonable? -Kevin, 22 Carson City, NV Yes. You'd better trim that stuff. This isn't the Dark Ages. Women don't want a cave man-they don't want to fight eight inches of Brillo down there. A man should trim and be extra clean down there. They make antibacterial soap for a reason. I hate it when a guy gets in the shower and is outta there in three minutes. What can you do in three minutes? No girl wants to suck a smelly penis. -The First Lady of Sex 5:51 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Tuesday, July 25, 2006 A.K.S. Current mood: confused Category: Writing and Poetry The Clod and the Pebble William Blake c. 1794 "Love seeketh not itself to please, Nor for itself hath any care, But for another gives it ease, And builds a heaven in hell's despair." So sang a little clod of clay, Trodden with the cattle's feet, But a pebble of the brook Warbled out these metres meet: "Love seeketh only Self to please, To bind another to its delight, Joys in another's loss of ease, And builds a hell in heaven's despite." Kaitlin Kaitlin Kaitlin 4:53 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Monday, July 24, 2006 Frere Jacques Current mood: okay I made this song up one time. It is for all you tweekers out there. By no means does this mean I am on drugs. I used to be. But I have taken a break from them indefinitely. This song came to me when I used to do methamphetamines. I used to have alot of fun on them with my girlfriend. Meth makes people hypersexual. And boy do you get freaky! But some folks tend to get paraniod and stuff. One last thought about drugs. Just because yoy use them does not mean you are a loser. As a libertarian I feel you can go do you heroin good luck with it. Just leave you grubby hands off my wallet. But there are many functional users out there and some you would never even know it. I think that as long as you don't hurt anyone but yourself, don't involve children, and don't make a wreck of you life and your health then you are okay with me. Here it is. Frere Jacques-Version by Clifford G. Coultas-All rights reseverd Are you tweeking? Are you tweeking? Brother John. Brother John. Don't look out the window. Did you hear a car door? What was that? What was that? 3:27 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove