For only being 19,I have learned a lot as time has gone by.Things dont always turn out they way you want and they never are what you think they are.In one day,your whole life can change.And you wont have a say in the matter.You wont even know what happened.But that is all that it takes.One day for your life to become something else.What seemed to matter to you before,only seems like a childish game in the past.And that is basically all that it was.A childish game.Looking back at my 19 years on this planet, it has had a lot of good and bad times.A lot of ups and a lot of downs.But thats the thing.You have to take the good with the bad.No matter how good something can be, there will always be something bad to follow.Ive put people through things they should have never encountered.Ive made my parents go on trips to hell and back pleanty of times when all they were trying to do was help me out and look out for me.They didnt deserve an eighth of the things they have gone through.I know I cant change the past,but I will try my damnedest to make the future better and to make up for the things I have done.Im going to try and make things right.Over the course of one day, my whole life changed.I signed away a minimun of 18 year of my life.But Im happy that I did.I love my son and daughter to death and I wouldnt trade them for the world.Sure I have my regrets about getting pregnant with Riki because I was so young.I was only 16.I was young and didnt have a clue in the world to what I had just got myself into.And Im sure a lot of people have their regrets about getting pregnant.But my son and daughter are my everything and no one or thing can ever take their place.All I can do is learn for my mistakes and the mistakes others have made around me.But I know one thing for sure.Im going to try my hardest to give my son and daughter everything and make their life the best I can.They are my pride and joy.My heart and soul.My world and everything in it.There isnt one thing I wouldnt do for them.Having a child is a meaningful thing.Its an instant love.An instant bond that no one can break.I would make myself unhappy to make them happy for one moment.Now I see the things my parents has gone through.Now I see the things they have always worried about.All the fears they have for me,I have for my son and daughter.Being worried isnt the greatest thing in the world.It hurts more than anything.People worry about their boyfriends or girlfriends and they are all sad about it.Wait until they have a child.Then they will find out what worrying is all about.Having something happen to your child is the scariest thing in the world.After carrying a child for 9 months and then giving brith, you have such a strong bond.There are a lot of things about being a parent I dont know that I still need to learn.But no one goes into motherhood an expert.Everyone needs to learn.But I can only do my best to learn everything.Being a mother is something no one, and I mean no one, can ever master.For being 19,life has taught me a lot.People arent always who they seem to be.They can change in a matter of seconds.Nothing is ever what you want it to be.Things dont always go your way.And thats just a part of life that we all have to deal with.The people you think you knew,you might want to take a better look at.Because I can tell you now,you probably dont know the real them.Wait until things get hard and start to unfold before you make your final judgement.No matter what anyone says,there is someone out there that loves you more than their life.They will worship the ground you walk upon.And you will do the same and It will be the greatest feeling in the world.So no matter how good you think things are.Take a longer,harder look before you make a final decision on things.Get to the bottom of everything and take your time to get to know someone.And whatever you do,think things over more than one time and make sure it is something you will be happy with in the end.If you cant see yourself happy,then dont do it.But I wouldnt trade my life for the world because it is what made me who I am today.And Im lucky to have the things I do.I have friends and family that I can count on and turn 2.I know they will always be there when I need them.And I will do the same for them in return.Life is full of twists and turns.So be prepared for the unexpected.Cuz things change in a matter of seconds.And there isnt a damn thing you can do about it.Ive lived through a lot of things. And I have many regrets.And if I could take back the last 10 years of my life I would. But if I did that, I wouldnt be the person I am today.So Im thankful things happened the way the did.I have 2 beautiful children.Family and friends who I love to death and would do anything for.
