oh evil of evil I'm going to write what I'm thinking in my own words.. how novel .. compared to the quotes I generally post.
I've had a rough couple months trying to date a person at some insane distance from myself.. I know the hazards and being my age you'd think I was prepared for the trama of it not working .. but to be honest I havent dated much haven't put my heart out there to be messed with .. its difficult to do that and for some reasons I thought the distance thing would be easier on my mental well being, it would slow down my nautral sexual side so I could get to know someone instead of throwing myself into a physical whirlwind with someone new. In some ways it really was, and seemed to be in person as well .. but now that its all over the knowledge that you can be so easily erased is insane to me. That the time you invested is gone with a simple delete or blocking of accounts. Am I the only person that can't just turn a blind eye on people when they've made an impact on me? Remember conversations and think of how they form the words they do or laugh at things I didnt consider to be jokes or even when the person made me think of myself in different ways. Maybe the worst part is I feel forgettable.. unspecial if you will, and that's not something people generally enjoy.
