The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best out of everything they have. Never regret a
day in your life. Good days give you happiness and bad days give you
experiences. Both days are essential in life. Stop whinning and start
being grateful. Love, Peace and Soooouuuulllll.
MEN!!!
this is primarily for the women but it is still funny.
1.WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your
heart.....Then you are just an old sour fart!
One for the ladies.......
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It
depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled
back,
' University of Oklahoma ...'
And they say blondes are dumb...
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped
out
of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if
I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make
their day! And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of
humor to take it!!!!
LMAO from my mail!!
