Martha Stewart VS. Maxine
Martha Stewart - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine - Leftover wine?? Hello!!
Martha Stewart - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares!
Martha Stewart - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.
Martha Stewart - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.
Martha Stewart - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on the bottom of the cake.
Maxine - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a bitch for you.
