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MaRiNa's blog: "marina"

created on 08/06/2009  |  http://fubar.com/marina/b305397

My first memory of my father is when I was 2.5 years old.... I was in the airplane with my mother, on our way to Canada where my father was to meet us... I remember waking up in the middle of the night and my mother coming to my bedside and asking me... do you know who this is. And I just nodded and said Tata... he brought me a little doll; I think she was dressed in yellow. I remember fondly how he and my mother tucked me in at night and helped me with my prayers and made me feel safe. He took me to school on my very first day, and watched me from a window as I was stringing beads.  When I was sick he would always take care of me lovingly. My father was a good man. He was an honest, caring and hard working man, working shifts so he could put food on the table and a roof over our heads... but during all the hard times he always made time for his friends and relatives. The extended family was very important to him; they all bonded very closely for they were all building a new life in their new country. His family was very dear to him to this day.

During my growing up days, sometimes they were hard, he was very strict with me but I am an only child so that is understandable... It may have seemed that we didn’t get along; we had a strange relationship that way,never Seeing Eye to eye... I always knew, that it didn’t matter because he loved me more than anything. There were tough times, but there were more good times.  I am thankful that I can say I had a wonderful childhood... that I had a wonderful father...

He left so suddenly and I didn’t have a chance to say a proper goodbye, like I did with my mother... there was many times where her and I would just talk and cry, she thanked me for letting her spend so much time with her grandchildren, and I said how can you thank me? I should be thanking you, and I do for being the person, the mother and grandmother you are.

 

So now I wish to thank you tata, for everything, for being a part of my life, my children’s lives

You gave us so much, the countless trips to dunnville, picnics, sleepovers and baby sittings... you showed me love in many ways. You tought me so many things and told me so many stories. You tought me to love my heritage and be thankful to live in canada. You took me to Croatia and several times to Florida.  You took care of my mother when she was sick, and during her last few weeks I have never seen anyone stand by someone like you did... you took care of your mother in the nursing home thru all those hard unbearable times when she was lost and confused... No one knows what you have gone thru these past few years...you may not think that I didn’t appreciate all this, but I do and I’ll never forget it...

I noticed how lonely you were these past three years...  though I didn’t realize just how much until now, you left so suddenly with no warning... mama must have planned it this way, she didn’t want you to be alone down here... She wanted you to be with her again.

So now, I’m left alone, so to speak without you both... but I know your here and I know you are hearing this.... Thank you from the bottom of my heart...I love you so much and I will miss you greatly.

 

 

 

just something

every day is an endless day,waiting for someone to steel my heart

someone so worthy and loving like you, who is charming, sexy and smart.

the day i read your poetry, we talked for a little while.  I looked at

your picture, over and over, and fell in love with your smile. I must have known you from somewhere before, but couldn't place exactly where.. but then it suddenly dawned on me.. it wasnt here, nor was it there.

it must have been  another life ,another time or another place.  It doesnt matter anymore for you've filled that empty space.

 

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