God, grant me the maturity
To ignore the things I cannot change;
The ego to force the things I can;
But not the wisdom to know the difference.
God, grant me the absurdity
To use really bad pickup lines;
The eyes to leer at perky breasts;
And the balls to think it’s working.
God, grant me the audacity
To treat women like luggage;
The muscles to push them around;
And the class to do it whenever I can.
God, grant me the sincerity
To lie my way into any girl’s pants;
The heart to do it without giving a damn;
And the coldness to never call again.
God, please…make me a man.
