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nailbunny's blog: "poetry"

created on 05/24/2009  |  http://fubar.com/poetry/b296658

madness

I retreat into the dark recesses of my mind once again

Hiding from the harsh realities of this all-too-jaded world.

My confusion never seems to abate, not at all.

My mind a chaotic whirlwind of terrible thoughts.

I pull them around me closely, like a security blanket

the chaos comes naturally to me, feels comforting.

I long for the things that once made me safe

Things that once numbed my senses into false reverie.

Once upon a time I could crawl inside a bottle

And feel my troubles melt away, if only for awhile.

Or smoke the sacred herb, sweet scented security

and not feel or care about anything awhile.

But too many times I awoke on the floor

wondering where I was; where everyone had gone.

Lost and alone, feeling sick and afraid,

The darker thoughts coming back with a vengence.

The anger and pain clouds my mind again;

Medication lasts only so long, helping only a little

Before the rage returns, battling my sanity,

Ripping my mind apart, feeding the pain within my soul.

Do I even want to cry out for help anymore?

I ask myself this question daily, over and over.

Or do I sink once again into the abyss, and allow

Madness to consume my shattered soul?

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madness

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