You know that I'm not perfect. I've told you this before.
I just want to make it clear and honest to the core.
I never took my side, I was always on the fence.
I turned love upside down and then you said it was the end.
I never made a move. I should've told you this.
My love for those who hurt me never let me flip the switch.
The hate I kept inside me, I kept it for myself.
I spent all our time wishing that I was someone else.
Guess it never mattered since all pain is the same.
You feel it and you dish it out til it becomes a game.
I've done my share of evil. Less Jeckle, more Miss Hyde.
Sometimes I didn't know myself. I played out every lie.
It's easy under cover to act like someone else.
I ran away from everything. Every card that I was dealt.
In the end I lit a fire and watched all my dreams burn.
Now I'm a master arsonist and every day I learn
A new way to destroy the rage, a way to watch it die.
Maybe someday in the future I can look you in the eye.
I'll say it's not your fault that I was so confused.
But I don't think I'll understand how I let myself feel used.
I gave up all my love. My heart went out the door.
With you there's no such thing as forgiving sins before.
So now I hold the blame. It haunts my every step.
All I know to do with it is carry it til death.
There is no letting go for me. My grudge won't go to waste.
Forgiveness is a simple thing, clear in simple taste.
But if I let me off the hook I know that I'll forget.
Forget what it was to love someone for real, without regret.