JustJessie28's blog: "Destiny"

You know that I'm not perfect. I've told you this before.

I just want to make it clear and honest to the core.

I never took my side, I was always on the fence.

I turned love upside down and then you said it was the end.

I never made a move. I should've told you this.

My love for those who hurt me never let me flip the switch.

The hate I kept inside me, I kept it for myself.

I spent all our time wishing that I was someone else.

Guess it never mattered since all pain is the same.

You feel it and you dish it out til it becomes a game.

I've done my share of evil. Less Jeckle, more Miss Hyde.

Sometimes I didn't know myself. I played out every lie.

It's easy under cover to act like someone else.

I ran away from everything. Every card that I was dealt.

In the end I lit a fire and watched all my dreams burn.

Now I'm a master arsonist and every day I learn

A new way to destroy the rage, a way to watch it die.

Maybe someday in the future I can look you in the eye.

I'll say it's not your fault that I was so confused.

But I don't think I'll understand how I let myself feel used.

I gave up all my love. My heart went out the door.

With you there's no such thing as forgiving sins before.

So now I hold the blame. It haunts my every step.

All I know to do with it is carry it til death.

There is no letting go for me. My grudge won't go to waste.

Forgiveness is a simple thing, clear in simple taste.

But if I let me off the hook I know that I'll forget.

Forget what it was to love someone for real, without regret.