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What are you waiting for?
Not real long ago but long enough to say awhile ago, i had found love and happiness but it didnt find me. This has been my cycle of abuse in a way. What i dont get is that love is almost the only word that the definition is defined by ones looking for it or have found it, and while it can vary greatly from one to the next, why is it so hard for it to find me when i know my definition is not a demanding one? Based on my life's experiences and interacts with the world, i know i am atleast better than average in almost every aspect that people uses to define what they want in a mate, yet i am alone. I also know i am not perfect, i do make mistakes, i do do the wrong things at the wrong times sometimes but who does not? And i can always admit those mistakes.
"Love you forever" might as well be song lyrics for as many times as i have heard it, yet i am here alone. Loving someone and being with someone can be two different things, for me, it is not. If i love someone, i long for them, want to be with them and usually distance or time apart rarely weakens that. Yet I am alone. I never understood why divorce rates are so high. There are tons of reasons that experts can state, there are reasons the divorced will give but it boils down to the love is gone or was never there. Maybe i am a hopeless romantic after cause I truly feel my heart break each time i am forced to move on. Why am i putting this out there? Who knows, maybe im just venting, maybe opening up, maybe just tired....of being alone.....regardless of the reasons, i can already feel the tears pushing at my eyeballs trying to get past....not gonna happen, and this will probably come down real soon, cause the macho man in me is starting to see this as pathetic...oh well..bye
