MarkBBlu's blog: "Stories and fiction"

Time surely does fly. I've been chatting online since 1993. That's longer than some of the kids online here have been breathing. At that time we used to use dial-up modems to connect to centralized BBS's (bulletin board systems). Over the years online speeds have increased remarkably. The software is far more sophisticated than it was back then. Some things haven't changed, though. Online romance happened then and it lives on today.

I've always thought it was completely illogical and almost laughable. I mean, seriously, how are you supposed to have any kinds of feelings for someone you haven't met? What's the attraction of words on the screen accompanied by what may or may not be an image of the person with whom you are conversing? Who are these idiots, anyway? Well, whoever they are I have to count myself among their idiotic ranks.

Yes, I have experienced online infatuation(at least) more than once in the seventeen some-odd years I've been chatting. I consider myself to be otherwise rational and at least reasonably intelligent. So what gives? I suppose if one were to describe the stereotypical victim of cyber-love I would say they were lonely, anti-social and cut off from the "real" world. Maybe they are dorky, clumsy, awkward societal misfits. Computer dweebs one and all! Or maybe none of the above.

What I've seen, not only from my own experience but from watching others, is that some remarkably (or maybe I should say unremarkably) normal people find each other in this netherworld of flying electrons and ones and zeros. Some take their newly-formed bonds into the physical realm. Others maintain their relationships in text (or voice) only. But what about these so-called online feelings that develop?

I say so-called feelings because it's hard to imagine anything real can exist between veritable strangers. And yet they definitely do exist. One could say they are figments of the imagination. But couldn't one say that about feelings and emotions in any environment? The thing is, I see, and have felt, a whole range of emotions online. I have felt anger, compassion, jealousy, loneliness, happiness, mistrust and maybe even, dare I say it, love.

I've decided that even in this contrived, non-tactile pseudo-world romance can, and does, exist. It's more than an analog of real life - it's an extension of real life. We have all arrived here for under various circumstances and with different intent. Isn't that the same as a gathering of people anywhere? True, some may feel uncomfortable in a bar or other social venue. Some may have children, jobs or other obligations that keep them off the streets. Does it really make a difference? They meet here, they communicate and they attract. Random encounters lead to long-term relationships all over the world every day. Does the venue really matter so much?

I have noticed some things seem different in the cyber-world, though. People sometimes share things they may not feel free to share face-to-face so early on. Of course, sometimes people are online living a completely separate life - not sharing anything real. That's a different topic. For the ones who do share their actual inner selves, cyber love may seem to move faster than it might otherwise. Or maybe that's just my own perspective. But I digress.

I could ramble on and on but the point's been adequately made. I say cyber feelings are still feelings. Chat love is still love. I would probably prefer not to be consumed by such a relationship (as if one could actually choose when and when not to feel for another) but I will definitely respect the relationships of others. I am convinced they feel for each other and that for them it is a real as real needs to be.

As much fun as it would be to poke fun and make jokes based on the stereotypes I need to remind myself that people in glass houses should not throw stones. Regarding fu-marriage, however, I reserve the right to laugh my effin' ass off!  (I'll probably regret that statement later)

(C) 2010 - Mark B Blu