MarkBBlu's blog: "Stories and fiction"

Hundreds of miles away. For all this time it may have well been a million miles. For all this time it may as well have been only a few feet. Too far to touch and at the same time close enough to feel. The waiting. The indecision. The doubt. And finally, the flight.

I barely noticed the crowds of impatient travelers waiting in winding lines to have their belongings searched for explosives. I didn't care much about the uncomfortable seating at the airport. The crowded flight didn't bother me as it normally would. My mind was occupied - wondering if there was anything real waiting at my destination.

I drive in the rented car. I follow the robotic female voice of the GPS. I sit through evening rush hour in an unfamiliar city. At least it isn't like Los Angeles rush hour. I find the hotel and check into my room. I shower. I shave. I iron. I pace. I try to decide the best time to leave in order to be on time for my 9 o'clock dinner date with a woman I've not met. I wait. I pace some more. I leave my belongings behind in the hotel room. I wish I could leave my nervousness behind as well. I drive.

Finally, I arrive and take the ticket from the valet who whisks away the disappointing rental. Good riddance. I make my way through the doors into restaurant bar and I look for you. In the low light I see a room full of unfamiliar faces as I glance around. I don't see you and I worry that I came to the wrong place. I worry that you've changed your mind. Then I worry that you'll wish you had. Damned nerves. Having talked myself into feeling somewhat dejected I turn to head back outside to wait and then there you are. I see you smiling and my heart goes from racing to a dead stop for a moment.

Pictures. I have looked at your pictures and been moved. I don't think you know how beautiful you really are, despite being told time and time again. Or perhaps you do. I've looked at those eyes and imagined what might be behind them. And those lips - own me. Each new picture brings new thoughts and fantasies. But seeing you makes it all pale. I'm speechless yet I know I need to find words, and soon. Was this really such a good idea? Thankfully we are both able to get past our initial nervousness and conversation begins to flow.

Dinner finds us finally able to relax. I can share and laugh about my earlier nervousness. I'm relieved to know it wasn't just me. I assumed it but it helps to hear it from you. Still, it is sometimes easier to talk from behind a screen. No need to worry about lettuce in the teeth or hair out of place. Too late to worry.

Piano music wafts in from the bar area. It seems such a waste to have come this distance only to waste it. I stand and extend my hand, hoping you'll take it and join me for a dance in the next room. You give a shy polite smile and thankfully, I find your hand in mine. I place your hand in the bend of my left arm as we walk to the small unlit dance floor.

We arrive and stand in the center of the wood floor that's surrounded by dark carpeting. You turn to face me and my right hand touches your waist to coax you closer. As you come toward me I reach to the small of your back and we begin to sway. Your right hand releases my left and your hands find the back of my neck. I look fully into your eyes for what feels like the first time. I hold you as you rest your head on my left shoulder. We are the only ones on the dance floor. At first I feel self-conscious but it doesn't take long before no one else matters.

As I hold you I take in the scent of your hair and discover the subtle scent of your perfume. You feel so right in my arms that I already find myself wishing it was more than a dance. My head moves back and I look in your eyes for a moment before resting my forehead against yours, our noses touching. I try to imagine you hearing my thoughts and at the same time I'm a little relieved that you can't.

I've lost track of how many tunes have gone by. I suppose it's time to head back to the table. We start to walk but after a few steps away from the bar area I stop you. I take your right hand in my left and gently hint for you to face me. My right hand reaches to cup your chin and tilt your head slightly upward. My heart pounds and my palms and face feel warm as I move in to touch your lips with mine. It's just a brief kiss and I only linger briefly. I stop and look into your eyes, halfway expecting to see some slight protest but when I see none I kiss you again. This is the kiss I've thought so often about. The kind of kiss that leaves you with little doubt about my feelings and desire for you. You move even closer as our lips part and we…

And then the ring of the alarm clock. A rude intrusion into what was to be something amazing. My eyes are pried open by the morning light and already the images that a moment ago completely gripped me begin to fade. I refuse to let this fade into yet another forgotten dream. Reality barges in. Damned alarm clock!

(C) 2010 -  Mark B Blu