Over the years, I've become pretty good at introspection, honestly examining myself and critiquing my actions and my life. Lately I've been thinking a lot about my relationships and love. What I've found isn't very nice or encouraging. Looking back over the years what I've discovered is that I have the ability to evoke many good emotions from the women in my life, friendship, pleasure, desire, lust. But the one emotion I don't bring out is love. Oh sure, I've been told "I love you" but what I've discovered is that with one notable exception, I'm in their lives for other reasons. I fill some need in their lives other than love, a shoulder to cry on, a sympathetic ear, some one to vent to, an escape, whatever.
I know this sounds like so much self pity, but really, it's not. I just have to view my relationships in a different context. I have stop expecting love and just accept things as they are, to fill my life with friends and expect nothing more.
