Hello there blog,
It all has started since she started working, I knew it...She was working so much, and would work all her days off. I never questioned her, may be now I should've. I don't know who it is that she is having thoughts of being with, I really would like to know, just for shits and giggles. I don't want to keep her here against her will. I can let her go tomorrow, if need be. I am very much in love with my wife, I don't know where I went so wrong....she is young. I've written so much about this it's draining me. She started to go to partied with the people from work, and I was invited at first, but then she started wanting to go alone. I mean, I used to trust her, now I must check myself. We had a talk around the 18th of February, she said she wasn't happy and wasn't sure she wanted to keep trying, I never knew she wasn't happy. I tried to tell her, it takes two, and it takes time. We aren't in love at all times. Then, later, around March 16th, she had a party, and I thought she was getting to close to some guys, and then I thought I saw her kissing a guy, but I was probably wrong. Her reaction to my cry for attention and input from her, also asking her about the guys at the party. Then, she left me for two nights, stayed one night, only to leave for another night. She is being very secretive, too secretive, and i hate it. Then she says she isn't in love again, and is thinking about people her own age, and has a certain one in mind. She said she didn't think I could help her keep the house clean, so she'd have more time to party. I do all house work, now, I used to help. I guess it wasn't enough, now I am. Her friend Jenn is supposed to go with her to a Tool concert in Reno, with her boyfriend Mike, and they were to spend the night. Then, I find out, she is going to share a room with two dudes from work. She lied! One guy is huge, the other is famous for having sex with any girl he has in his area, when he's drunk. How can I trust this situation? I asked to go with her, and she said, no. I mean, why can't I just go and have some fun in Reno while she's at the concert? This would solve most of my fears. I love my wife, and do not want her sleeping in a motel room with two other guys. Am I asking too much? I don't understand. I am so hurt by all this recent news. I just want to run away. I don't want to try for someone who doesn't want me. I haven't got too many friends, so it is very hard for me. I want to keep a stable environment for my son. I have that now, if she leaves. I'll have to move, I don't need all this space. I don't know what to believe anymore. Where to turn. I know things have been better lately. Will it change? I'm so not cool with this. I'm ready to give her her divorce now. If she says she wants to leave again, I will not protest. I will go and start the proceedings. I hate that this has happened. but, what can you do? My son's birthday party is next weekend, so i want to be there, on normal terms, what do I do? I'm sure she is thinking the same, but what are her plans for afterwards? I hope there aren't any, I hope I'm just paranoid. Time will tell. Peace for now, David
