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russ's blog: "Lost in thought"

created on 09/22/2007  |  http://fubar.com/lost-in-thought/b132690

Soul in the saloon

This old saloon is dark and damp, the barstools reek of vomit and crap, the shots of Jamison  poured slowly into dingy cracked glasses, But i like it cause reminds me home, on day like these were your blood runs cold, the rain pours from the blacken sky and the  darkest hole can make it so you don’t feel so alone, even Johnny there just off the pike happy go lucky sits by your side and just like every other poor soul that stop by this god forsaken place, still takes a pound like a true honest soul ,even though the bar wench behind counter spat in it like she didn‘t give to lick , this is place were everything is wrong and dreams are wasted away in empty bottles of booze, its a sad old song but it rings  true, I corner my self to see the news on old black and white still hung from the ceiling corner thing looks as though it had seen a president or two maybe even Nixon or the landing on the moon ,but then I digress I stop  to realize another years past and im still drinking this crap wasting away in this dirty old place what the hell. What did I ever do. Oh yea I fought for what I believed in and the world said fuck you. 

In the stars

In the Stars Reading the night sky, Looking for the future untold and unwritten, Only finding a deserted darken sky, Looking for something anything a glimmer hope, To see a future to unfold to show me a road, But days come and go, The sun rises and falls day after day, The moon cast shadows to frighten me away from my goal, I begin to loose hope, Is it a worthless cause? Is my future so bleak? I wake I work I eat I sleep I dream of a star for me, Months have passed I look through the glass, Something there in darken sky’s, Can it be true? Was this what I was looking for, Is this just a dream a hoax played on me, But its so bright, warm, and beautiful, I cant walk away I fear I loose site, Could this be and end to my cold dark nights, Only the future can see, But it is a road worth taking.

Where are you

Lost inside locked up and bounded in twine , a thought forgotten and never forgiven , restless in its quest to rise above the rest, going beyond the closed doors of perception , tied back by a ruthless society closed minded fools, dreaming of freedom that can not be won, driven by fear and hate it cowers to its relentless mistakes, but were is it now the strength that it needs , To rise above , to stand tall , to bring fourth the utopia it needs . can it find it in the haze of the dark mind can tear its self from the flesh that has bound it to this world .. where is it where

orb

in the cold in the dark in lost places in the heart, the soul rezides still alive but lost to the art , pain and sorrow burden it so , as it tears it up from its hold , gracefuly l bound strong to the core, but faded by time and abuse by the world, time will come and all shall walk the to land of sun

LIT

lost in the past trapped in the future tore between the present, An unlit path dark and treacherous leading me back, To a time with out the pain and loss, With out the hate and greed, with out the sin which is me, lost in see of thoughts mindlessly drowning in my own sorrow, i am not sad , i am not mad , i am confused by my greatest abuse , the abuse of my heart , which ass been torn from my chest so many of times over the last five years, I'm starting to wonder if ill ever here its beats again, maybe in time i feel the blood pump through arteries once more but for now I'm torn tattered and blue , what a ravonous life it is true, love and loss go hand in hand ,
Life is truly unforgiving As I look toured the everlasting night I remember the darkest of day’s of my life. But as it has been said the past is the past what has been done can not be undone And only the future will show me the way to the dream of the resurrection of my soul And only time will stand testament to the abomination’s and torment that I unleashed In my life time. One day I hope to be forgiven for my sin’s in life. But as I have stated though out my life I believe in justice You do the crime you do the time and your soul will pay the toll. And I do believe that my debt to society shall never be paid in full For I’m just another wasted youth that society has cranked out with its broken machine And as days get grimmer, I stop to hope that my child will not forget me only her forgiveness is what I truly seek in this sick sad world of disalussion, this is all i truly ask for my life is short even though like my brother i believe i can not die life wont let me belive me ive tried i do not belive in suicide but death has knocked on my door numeriouse times only to realize its not my time my life is a wreck like shattered glass i piece it back together only brake another piece one day ill be complete again i hope.
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