Bender gatekeeperheaven and earth's blog: "almostalien"

Have you ever woke up one morning were looking for one thing and then found something else ?One night when I was driving to my place in the mountains .I had a really bad day and was thinking of all the bad things I had experienced in my life. I have not been very lucky in love I have had things that I loved killed because they were to friendly yes bears by the fish and game. My life was just to much for me to handle . I have to say I was ready to pack it in . And this was not the first time I just wanted to end my life. But every time I would feel this way something stopped me . Then there's that problem I have with thinking if I ended it once and for all what would God think and that was something I did not want to risk. Well as I was thinking this I looked up at the sky on this long road to the mountains out my wind shield and said in my mind God just take me home I was broken . I finally made it home got into my cabin stayed outside well into the dark . Looking at all the stars and just wishing I could be taken away. I finally went in my cabin and went to sleep. I had a dream so it appeared to be anyway. And I was on a table I was not strapped down I just could not move. I tried to move my head to the right and then the left. Wherever I was it was bright. I could only look up at the ceiling. There was this beautiful light it had colors that were so colorful it was something I could just look at forever. It was rotating very slowly and I could think of nothing but this light. I was not afraid I felt happy. At that moment I felt like I was lighter then air. My mind was empty no sadness just joy. Then all of a sudden this what some people might call a alien leaned over me from the right side and looked right in my face. I was not scared but I became sad . It did not say anything to me I was sad and ashamed at the same time. Suddenly I felt like I was falling backwards not fast just backwards. I then woke up and felt empty. I got up went to work I wasn't sad anymore and every time something would pop in my head I just would be saying to myself oh well . I can walk I can see I have both my arms and legs and can go anywhere I want. I was more thankful for my life. My life is still not going were I would like but it does not seem to bother me as much. Well now the sword. So about a week after that dream experience or whatever it was .I was looking for something in my cabin . I was looking all over the place I then looked behind my cabinet and find this sword . I pick it up and my mind is blank to were it came from or how I even got it. And I pick it up I am not excited but thinking . Were the heck did this come from I can remember every knife my grandfather ever gave me as a kid all the knives my uncle ever gave me. And I don't know how this sword got in my cabin. A cabin that I built from scratch ground up .Well for some reason I start writing stories on blogs like the ones on this website. Just thought provoking stories. I am no writer I have never written stories until recently. As I write these stories none with a sword in it. I meet this lady named TJ Morris on line. She has been a writer for along time. She says to me that she writes on themes that have to do with the past and the future. And she has others that write for her on her website. She says she calls her writers by different names of the knight of the round table. My name was to be Sir Lancelot. Well months go by I write my stories . So recently I am rubbing the rust off this sword that I had found in my cabin. I guess I was board that day . Then I talk to a friend of mine and tell him of this sword. Well he has a sword he is into them more then me . Until now that is. He says the sword I have was not just made in china and stamped out of stainless steel that would not rust. That the sword I have was pounded out by hand . That who ever did it heated all the pieces together and pounded it over and over again. There is no name on the sword .No factory stamp nothing. So you can imagine what I am thinking now. So yesterday I go on the internet.And look at swords and find out that this sword is the ones they would of used back in the days of the round table.Yes Sir Lancelots time. I am not saying this is Sir Lancelots sword just the kind that was used back then. So hear I am anyone got any thoughts on this. If you do write me and let me know .Yes you can write and say I am nuts or maybe I am on drugs which I don't take. But know matter I still have a sword that I don't know were it came from and I am still being called Sir Lancelot by TJ that didn't even know about the sword until the other day.And it all started in November when I had that dream of the lights in the eyes in 2007 .And I have to say the more I pick up the sword the more comfortable I feel with it . So maybe I am just a nut.But then I could say that about something someone else does too.