So anyway I went to see
Craig Ferguson do a live stand up comedy show last week. A friend was going to see a later show, thus giving me the excuse the procrastinate talking about it to the Internet world.
So first a word about the venue. The show was at the Chicago
Zanies Comedy Club. It is located on the North side of the side (which as a south sider I shake my fist at on general principal) in a piece of real estate that local tavern would have a hard time fitting into. Standing in front of the building, waiting for the doors to open, I thought that perhaps it was somehow dimensionally transcendental (see Dr. Who) or bigger on the inside that on the outside. While not actually physically possible, I've seen businesses absorb surrounding buildings, knocking out the walls between, while keeping one original storefront entrance. This was not the case. The place is tiny.
Now a comedy club cannot charge a mere 35 dollars a ticket (plus the cost of two drinks or food items) and book big name people without paying a great deal of attention to fire safety code. The place was packed shoulder to shoulder and the legs of the people behind me were halfway under my chair. You cannot turn to talk to your neighbor for fear of shouldering or elbowing the people front and back. One of Ferguson's first jokes was about how he felt he was doing some sort of act in front of a line of people waiting to get into a movie theater, that he ought to be dressed like a clown or perhaps make a balloon animal.
The place could also benefit greatly from being shut down for a renovation. The decor might simply be called the crap that was when they bought the building from some failed business venture years ago. Everything in the place was just plain filthy looking. The please wait to be seated sign near the door not only looked like it had been stolen from a 24 hour restaurant, but that it had multiple layers of nicotine attached to it. (Zanies is a no smoking establishment). The "stage" is circled in blue curtains that probably haven't been shaken out (let alone cleaned) since they were first put up. Hanging from the ceiling in front of the curtain is a wooden sign painted to look like an electric sign showing the logo / brand / name. If this place didn't have the contacts to pull in big name comedians it would have long since been out of business. One can tell they do have the contacts because every free surface in the place is plastered with the photo of a famous comedian who has worked there.
Now that ll the negativity is out of me on to the comedy. Ferguson wasn't the first one on the stage. First was an announcer / comic who had a few good jokes, but seemed stoned. He talked about his job delivering flowers and how people expect the driver to actually have some knowledge of plant care. He discussed the idea of the sexy nurse when most nurses wear scrubs these days. He also commented that one has a hard time with the entire sexy nurse idea when one's mother is a nurse. I have to agree.
Next was the "featured comic." I'm not sure what this means. Maybe it is something like the local who would perform this night no matter who the headliner is. Anyway her name is
Patti Vasquez and I have to say she is incredibly funny. Rather than wax poetic about her talent I direct y'all to her website. Click on the Video link. A lot of the performance in that video is what I saw live. If anyone wants to get me a Christmas present I'll take a XXXL version of fer save the boobies t- shirts. She regularly performs in Chicago and I'll definitely try to catch her next new show.
Now to the Featured Entertainer. Ferguson is, in my opinion, the funniest man on late night television. His television comedy may hint at blue subjects from time to time but the language is all ways clean. The live stand up also hints at the blue without ever really crossing into it (except for a bit at the end where he talks about his enormous penis) but the language was less than pure. The first thing he said was something like , "What the F*** is up with this weather!" He is also very spontaneous. The woman sitting right in front of the stage had a hideous laugh. At one point he points down to her and says, "Quit it." Then "That's the sound you make when your happy?" We got to hear about things ranging from things as current as Brittney Spears going around without underwear to stories about growing up in Glasgow. He made the comedy seem like it was coming effortlessly and in many ways he reminded me of Dylan Thomas. (Except Ferguson knew when to give up the drinking).
In Summary: There is nothing wrong with Zanies that a gutting or a move wouldn't fix (at the very least a bath). Patti Vasquez is an good example of the kind of humour Chicago produces. Craig Ferguson has an enormous penis (that's what the man said).
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