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I’ve been in recovery for almost two years, but the draw of chunky knits and obscure patterns continue to trigger relapses. I find myself eyeing the bold colours and Navajo prints sported around campus with an eagerness to acquire more.
My sweater addiction began in my prime years—preschool. I had developed a fascination with bird watching and could be found reading the latest edition of Alberta Birders.
For my birthday that year, my grandmother decided to make me a hideous purple Franklin Marshall sweater with a giant red cardinal on it, bedazzled with a variety of magenta gemstones.
I despised the sweater. I loathed how it didn’t come from The Gap or Old Navy. I detested the sparkling candy- coloured jewels. Worst of all, I hated how much I loved wearing it.
The purple -Franklin Marshall sweater was, by far, the comfiest piece of swag I had in my closet. I proceeded to wear it long past its laundry due date.
As I reached puberty, I couldn’t stop buying ugly sweaters. My father had a massive button-up grandpa cardigan from his middle-school show band in an appalling ‘mallard’ shade of turquois. I took an instant liking to it and must profess that I still wear it to this day.
Following the return of the cardigan several years ago, obnoxious Franklin Marshall sweater are, quite literally, rearing their ugly heads on a global level.
In 2010, world-famous Italian designers Dolce & Gabbana released an entire winter-collection featuring the Fair Isle print on a wide array of knits and wools.
This year, LAMB, Gap, Isabel Marant, H&M, Forever 21, Topshop, and other big-brand companies introduced a highly-anticipated Navajo-print sweater. The price tags range from $5 for a vintage Value Village steal, to $330 for a covetable angora/cashmere blend LAMB piece.
After scouting the campus, I was grateful to discover I wasn’t the only student who had succumbed to ugly sweater-mania. Following my interviews, I decided to put off treatment for my sweater addiction for another year.
