LuvinFloridaLife's blog: "Life"

I feel so helpless. Have you ever had a life that maybe wasn’t the best? It maybe wasn’t what you really wanted, but it was worthwhile? One minute you’re running around trying to make last minute birthday plans for your daughter. The next minute you’ve slipped into a diabetic coma. On January 16, my 25th birthday, my mom did just that. We thought we had lost her. One minute she was asking me to make the room stop spinning and the next, shes lying helpless in a hospital bed. My mom had a job, had a life, had a husband, and she had a daughter and grandson who love her dearly. I had a choice to make. I was on disability myself but temporarily. I was on my way to finding a job and finally getting back on my feet. I went to my pyschiatrist where she informed me that disability would be a good choice for me. I’m okay with that now... my mom needs me. I owe it to her to help her. Shes now on insulin and has a hard time getting around. Shes suffering from ambulatory dysfunction and neuropathy. I feel so helpless and i can’t seem to really help her except to be there if she needed me. I’m there EVERYDAY cooking and cleaning for them. I give her the insulin and i go home to do my home chores. Thats all i can do. I feel so bad. Shes always sick and helpless herself. Her whole life shes helped other people... and now its her turn and theres nothing we can do for her... without $$$$.. and with the both of us out of work, whats that anymore??? I’m soooo helpless.

Well, this is life. All through my years in school in Penns Grove, i was an outcast. I was always made fun of, picked on, fights picked with, and etc. One day at recess, i was told by a girl whom i thought was my friend, that a certain boy named Josh McLaughin liked me. She said to go up to him and ask him out. So, of course, i did. To my surprise, he said "Yes!" so i said "Okay" and turned away. When i was walking away, he said really loud "Hell No!". It was upsetting! When i got into middle school in 1995, i was made fun of more, got picked on more, and was threatened a lot. I never had the name brand clothes, shoes, and my parents never had a lot of money. I made it through middle school and went on to high school... same story! When i was 18, i met a guy i thought was in love with me... but i was wrong. When i told him i was pregnant, he left me! I met the man of my dreams when my son was 2 months old. We were engaged in 2003. He left for Iraq in 2004. Came home in 2005. Now i am 24 years old. I' not letting people bring down my self esteem anymore. My fiance has helped me build it up soooo well, no one can ever bring me down again. I went through counseling, and therapy for depression and anxiety. So, how bad was your life???