Well here I am late at night dwelling over the past year and 2 mths. It has been a journey that will never be forgotten because of the man I am now. For those you who dont know, my wife passed away January 06. For this brings me to where I am now in Life. I have had more heartache and pain than I have cared to have. Whether it was me hiding from my grieving or just moving on I dont know which.it is an emotional rollercoaster that I would never want anyone to experience. Because of my experience and what I have gone through I am where I am now. Which to some maybe, protected and protected. I cant help the way I feel, seems Life always has a journey for us no matter how much we try to change it. We cant change it, and trust I have tried and it doesnt work. All we can do is take it one day at time, and not dwell on the past, nor future. But dwell on the now. I am have become something I am not accustomed to which scares me dearly because I cant handle anymore heartache and pain. My journey has taken me to the unknown realms of Life itself. The part I go crazy about is that I long to Love but am imprisoned by the insanity of love itself. Going from loving someone dearly, to them being gone the next. Not exactly a cup of tea. I tried hiding, by dating but no succession. Months Later here I am still standing with my head up high, but still the emptiness that seeps through my skin, stops my heart. Which causes to confusion to the ones I love the most. Just know that I am trying, but I dont know how. I just take it as another lesson learned in "LIFE 101" Who knew we could endure such lessons that would reflect our lives forever. The answer, well you'll just have to pray and the answer shall be answerd when its time.
Enjoy life, the one you have right now. Work towards your goals but remember that reaching a goal is not where life begins, but more like where another chapter starts. Fill the pages of your life with happiness, even if some tears may fall...with love, although you may get hurt....with hope, although others might try to supress it....with faith that no matter what happens you have done what makes you happy!
One more thing before I head out, I just want to "APPOLOGIZE" to the ones I Love, for putting up with my stupidity, and hatred. You know who you are!
"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the was, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."~Alfred Souza~
