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I finally know how to say what i feel... Do I care what you think? LOL NO!!!! I dont... Do you care how I feel?? LOL again NO!!! Whats left to be said?? Im not the person you thought I was.. Im sick ... SICK of Being ignored.. Sick of being walked over!!! this goes for every one!!! Dont under estimate me!!! you dont know me and what I am capable of.. Do you throw the word Love around like a toy?? lol Peace betches!!!
There are times in our life when we are either a part of, or just witness things that we wish we have never seen or went through! I myself have been there! Ive been abused Mentally, Physically, Verbally and Sexually. Ive been hurt more times then not and at times have wanted to give up! Ive been suicidal thinking theres noway i have anything to live for! there was a time in my life when i would ask GOD "WHY ME." Theres a time when my best friends were the pills that promised to put me to sleep,if i took just the right amount i wouldnt hurt anymore! There are times when i would cry myself to sleep because thats the only way i would fall into that lovely slumber we all so very much love and cant function without! There are times when writing eases all the pain in the world but like now it just heals it for a short time. If you met me and knew me, knew everything i went trough, knew all the pain that rests in my heart, if you knew all the things ive wanted to do and all the risks ive wanted to take because of my past, youd understand why i am the way i am today having the family i have! Ive been brought up with CPS coming every year sometimes more then once, and the cops coming to wisk a parent away. Ive went to school with bruises on my back, my arms and legs. Ive had a head bashed into mine when i was only 15, but yet i love harder then most out there!
Here lately ive been having these awful horrible, nightmares. Ive dreamt about a certain person hurting my baby sister.. and when seeing that i tried to beat this person up and used as much bodily force as possible. Stomping in the face slicing the neck, but nothing happens. I try and try to hurt this person, but nothing happens. I spoke to someone and they said its denial and guilt on my end. when i asked why my end i got this answer..." Because you’ve lived your life trying to push the memories so far back that they are all rising to the surface forcing you to remember what has been done to you!" its time i do remember!! im a very loving person. i have most going for me right now and dont want anythng or anyone to stop me!
Can you imagine what life would be like if well all had to live it alone. What life would be like if there was no such thing as the truth or if the truth was really a big lie. What life would be like if there was not one star in the sky to wish on. what life would be like if death was birth. Birth of a new beginning. What llife would be like if drugs were no such thing. what life would be like, if music really was considered an anti drug instead of the key to tragedy...
what life would be like if it was all just a big wish.. what life would be like f social existence didnt matter. what life would be like without all the pain. what life would be like with no such thing as a television. what would life be like with out love, heartache or pain. what life would be like if fthe midnight sky was painted with colors of summer or autumn.
Have you ever wondered what life would be like if we all just agreed and stayed to ourselves. what life would be like without jealousy. what life would be like without competition. what life would be like with only one religion..
Have you ever wondered what life would be like without all the dead beat parent. what life would be like with out the parents who throw their children to a devastationg death. what life would be like without parents who live their life and dreams through the childs life? have you ever wondered what life would be like without the fright. what life would be lije without the many sexual predators or murderes. what life would be like if it were all just pure happpiness??
If we all could have things our way would we really change ourselves to conform to others expectations. would we all become all the same just to satisfy others? would we change the way we look, talk, act, sing, write, the music we listen to, the clothes we wear, the kind of makeup we wear, the brand of clothes we buy. would we change who we befriend? who we confide in?
have you every wondered what you would do or change if things could happen the way you want them to?
take a moment out and become prisioner to your mind, let your thoughts control your next move.. tell me.. what would you do!
