Sometimes it seems that no matter how much i try to get to a better place i seem to take 3 steps backwards rather than moving forward. all the obsticals seem to try to keep me down.
The biggest thing on my mind these days is missin my dad and tryin to figure out how when and where to have my dads service. my step mom doesnt want to have a memorial service for my dad and my brother and i cant really afford one, shoot im having trouble commin up with rent money let alone money for a service. My uncle and I are trying to see what we can come up with.
I miss my dad like crazy, especially with it being the holidays and all. See my dad passed away from Squamouis non small cell lung cancer on the 10th of december. I am sittin here today wishing that I had had more time with my dad, as i only had him in my life for 8 years. I met him for the first time when I was 15. I dont have many memories with him as we werent all that close. My dad may have said and done some really crazy things that made me a little uncomfortable sometimes but he was still my father and I loved him.he had a big part in making me, and there are things about him that i inherited. The fact that we both dont like tea (have the same idea about it which was really weird for me to hear him say what i have always said my whole life about tea!) I dont know what to do or how to handle the grieve of loosing my father!!! where do I go from here?????
