I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that
we had the largest one Sears made at that time a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, " Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower."
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, " NO, it's not. Four is larger than two."
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I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
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My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco She asked the person behind the counter for " minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg.
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I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked. "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?”
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?”
He smiled knowingly and nodded, " That's why we ask."
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The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the street light is red.
Appalled, she responded, " What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
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At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to “downsizing.” Our manager commented cheerfully, " This is fun. We should do this more often."
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights
stare.
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I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
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When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it’s open!”
His reply, "I know - I already got that side.”
! ! ! STAY ALERT ! ! !
They walk among us and they REPRODUCE!
