49 Year Old
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Female
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From Winnsboro, TX·
Joined on February 13, 2007
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Born on August 13th
17
HI MY NAME IS KITTY!!!! I AM 33 YRS OLD, MARRIED, AND WE HAVE 4 KIDS. LET ME START OFF BY SAYING I AM ONLY ON HERE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE AND MAKE FRIENDS POINTS AND THINGS ARE JUST A BONUS. I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME BECAUSE I HAD TO PUT UP WITH THAT CRAP GROWING UP!! WITH THAT SAID, I CAN BE A VERY NICE FUN GOING PERSON BUT I CAN BE A BITCH JUST AS 2 SHORT WE WORK TOGATHER. SHES A BLAST CHECK HER OUT. ANYWAY WE LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN THAT IS TO SAY THE LEAST OUT DATED. I WORK FULL TIME IN A NURSING HOME AND MY HUSBAND RUNS OUR SMALL BUISNESS. WE BUY AND SELL VIDEO GAMES. WE JUST STARTED AND LIKE SOME OF YOU KNOW WHEN YOU START SOMETHING NEW YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN OR WHEN. OUR KIDS AGES RUN FROM 14 TO 11, YES, ONE A YEAR FOR 4 YEARS. NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS IN BED FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS. LOL!!! I AM THE TYPE THAT HAS TO TRY AND FIND SOMETHING FUNNY NO MATTER HOW MAD OR HURT I AM. IF I CAN MAKE SOMEONE ELSE HAPPY THAT MAKES MY DAY. I GUESS THAT IS WHY I WORK AT A NURSING HOME. MAKEING THE ELDERLY SMILE WARMS YOUR HART BUT IF THEY ARE BEATING THE SNOTT OUT OF YOU ALL YOU CAN DO IS SMILE BECAUSE AROUND THE CORRNER OR IN THE NEXT ROOM IS THE ONE THAT GIVE YOU A HUG AND SAYS THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO. AND THAT MY FRIEND IS GOLD. ANYWAY IF YOU HAVE GOTTEN THIS FAR YOU MIGHT AS WELL ADD ME BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO SAY OR DO NEXT. I SOUND BOREING BUT I AM NOT ALL TIME.
Hi Kitty... just want to wish you a happy birthday a little early... I hope you have one of the best trips around the sun again.... and again... ;) peace xo
Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek."Hey, bud, how are ya?""I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!""Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!"No way, how could that be?""Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that's not all, she can have sex, too!""Holy shit! You're kidding, right?""No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her" So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming"Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! Eeeeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!" The guy says,"Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning"I", pointed to his knee meaning"need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his dick and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says,"What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says,"I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells,"No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies,"Shut up, you're next!"
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter.She goes over and asks him what he is drinking."Magic Beer", he says. She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but afterthat there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to the man sitting at thebar and says,"That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?""Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window,flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.The lady can't believe it:"I bet you can't do that again." He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around thebuilding three times, and comes back in the window.She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says tothe bartender,"Give her one of what I'm having." She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window,plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.The bartender looks up at the guy and says,"You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk!"
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him,"You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies,"Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs."Oh, no," he says,"Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."
A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper.The headline blared,"12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed".She shook her head at the sad news, then turned tothe stranger sitting next to her and asked,......"Wow that is really sad, how many is a Brazilian?"
Three guys stayed at a skiing lodge, but there was only one room with one bed so they shared it.During the night the guy on the left wakes up saying he had a dream where he got a hand job.Incredulously the guy on the right says that he also had a dream where he got a hand job. The guy in the middle says he dreamed he was skiing.
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'' The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'' The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!'' The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
Viagra CoffeeThis elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said,"Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive." The doctor smiled and said,"Have you tried to give him Viagra?" The lady frowned."Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed."Well," the doctor continued,"Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing." The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly. Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head."How did it go?" the doctor asked."Terrible, doctor, terrible.""Did it not work?""Yes," the old lady said,"It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years.""Then what is the problem, ma'am?""Well," she said."I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."
Iron It OutA husband walks into Frederick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks,"I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself. So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says,"Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!" He never heard the shot. Funeral services are pending.
