Living in the Past
Current mood: sad
So I was told that I need to quit living in the past and learn to forget and move on with my life. I cried even harder being told this...then my mother reminded me of the prayer that was on the announcement of Kaleb. Its as follows.
May you find comfort
In knowing that
Love was all
Kaleb Michael Davis
Ever knew.
Please Don't Tell Them You Never Got To Know Me
It is I whose kicks you will always remember,
I who gave you heartburn that a dragon would envy,
I who couldn't seem to tell the time and got your days and nights mixed up.
It is I who acknowledged your craving for peach ice cream by
Knocking the bowl off your belly,
I who went shopping and helped you pick out the
"perfect" teddy bear for me,
I who liked to be cradled in your belly and rocked off to
Dreamy slumber by the fire,
It is I who never had a doubt about your love,
It is I who was able to put a lifetime of JOY in an instant.
He entered my life through my love and want. All I ever wanted in this world was to be a mother. It is I who must live with the regret of uttering the words to his father that I was not happy in the marriage and wished I wouldn't have gotten pregnant so I could divorce. I was angry and didn't mean those words. I wanted my baby and son. It is I who must live with the guilt that my son didn't live because I selfishly chose my life over trying the surgery that may have saved his. It is I who would rather sit with God and watch my son play. It is I that holds the guilt in my heart.
I love you my son, I will not be sorry that I miss you. It is I that dreamt of an angel and was fortunate enough to hold one in my arms. It is I who falls asleep at night holding the bear they gave you after you were delivered. Finally it was I who see a yellow rose bloom and thinks of you.
Softly
Current mood: sad
Category: Life
How very softly
you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently;
Only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint
Your footprints have left
On our hearts.
--Author Unknown
