as i choose to fade into this brown space that enfolds my mind before the black. the thoughts of life define the thoughts of grace. surrounding, the crimson flood engulfs my being in a drowning mass of self pity that will be overcome....with time. you see this as a hatred and a sense of what is bad and evil but its the true emotions of time that come and go, forever pulsing through my mind. a life as all have with the ups and downs that are consistent with someone that actually has feelings and emotions. it is not a bad thing. its the knowing that i am alive, even though its an unhappy exhistance for the time being that gives me a sense of knowing. but for the time being i am happy to drown in my crimson pain.
