To all that read this, don't mind me as i get things off my head.
I love every one of my friends in many different ways. Some of them I can't live without and some I can't live with (forgive the pun for the ones who know wtf is going on lol).
So I was planning to move away from the place I am currently stuck at, but a new friend of mine made a deal of a lifetime. So instead, i will stay here, around the drama and the people who cause it all to go back to school for my CNA (love ya for it).
Well one thing leads to another and my best friend and I had discussed moving in together. *great idea*. Well, to make things easier with us and to give me time to get a job so I can move in (cuz those were the plans that not everyone knew)My best friend and I had talked to our new friend, a friend we adore. She agreed that us 3 moving in together was a great idea. No drama, easy conversation, nobody saying anything without thinking about it first. But then...
Friday night, the night i never thought would end...
So my day was going shitty as it was, as was everyone else's, but we moved past it and tried having a fun night. A stupid bitch kinda ruined that, so we decided on food lol... like i need it :P. But anywhoser... We had been chillin for a bit and having a great time until the subject of moving in together came up.
Now before I continue this blog from that point, I feel I must fill everyone in. I have been out of a job for about a year now and it hurts. It kills me inside knowing that I have been counting on my friends and family to help me with bills and all that. I have always been responsible, but of course when things in my life go good, terrible things happen... go figure, my life go wrong. With every time I asked for a cig, I hurt. Every bill that came in, I had to ask a friend for money... Let's just say on that I am keeping tabs and crying cuz I feel pathetic. Anything that involves going out and needing money, I feel terrible and I barely want to leave the house cuz I feel soooo bad about things.
So back to the story...
So yeah, the subject of moving in together came up and there is this house with 5 bedrooms in it for a low price. So the dream of everyone moving in together was fun to play with. Until one of my best friends, whom I do consider a sister and would take a bullet for... even if we haven't talked in decades... decided to say very bluntly that I couldn't move in until I got a job.
Umm.... yeah. I know that everyone heard my heart crush into a thousand pieces. But what everyone needs to realize is that when shit like that happens between us... the whole not thinking before speaking thing... yeah, me and her do that all the time. I turned back and threw something in her face that I shouldn't have but did because she hurt me so bad. I bluntly told her that my best friend and our new friend were thinking about moving in together.
Well... that didn't go over very well lol. The idea of the 3 of us moving in together... that's just throwing out ideas to break away from our current status of being miserable at home. And what my sister needs to seriously think about is that me and her COULD NEVER live together lol. We fight about the smallest things and shit like this happens. This time around, it's not gonna be one of those "I can't talk to you after what you said" things... I'm not gonna sit around and wait for 5 months before an apology is put in somewhere. Am I sorry for what i said, yes... BUT she needs to realize what she did to my heart. She knows me enough to know that something like that is going to be in my brain for a long time... one of those things that you can't get over, but you can deal with it.
So yeah... as far as me and my best friend moving in together goes, that's not going to happen. i am afraid that if it does, my sister (3rd of Tripod) will make something of that because we didn't include her.
But ya'll know me better than that lmfao. NOTHING will stop me from moving in with my best friend... It's been our dream since the day we met! And as far as our new friend goes... She will most likely be living with us and if my sister has a problem with that, i'm sorry. I love you yes, but you know damn well that there is no way possible that we could ever live together. So if worst comes to worst, I will live alone. I can live without Tripod (not literally of course... can't live without them, but can live without them... yeah... does that make sense? it does in my brain lol)
In closing... i love my friends... don't fuck with them because I don't think i can handle being as mad as I was last night lol...
Can't think of anything else to say... umm... yeah. Comment! lol
Loves from da Lilix
