Curvalicious Beisha's blog: "Judged"

I'm getting really sick of people bitching to me about their problems, asking for advice and then doing the complete opposite and getting even more fucked up. WTF? If you were gonna do what you wanted to, then why the fuck ask me? Seriously. Its getting so fucking old. Like, I know I bitch on my blog and all that, but its only cuz thats where I just vent. But its like, if you are just bitching for sympathy, well you're not gonna get it from me. Like the quote " Sympathy is in the dictionary between shit and syphilis." So fuck you. lol.

I think its funny... especially when people try and tell me what to do and what I "need" to do... Like the fact that Chloe' doesn't have a father in her life.."well she needs that father figure and if her father wants to come back into the picture then you need to let him be a part of her life" . WTF. LOL seriously...getting sick of people telling me what I need to do. I do what is best for Chloe'. And if you don't like it, then fuck off. My daughter deserves a whole hell of a lot better for a father then what helped create her. I welcome advice when people give it to me.. But don't tell me how to raise my child.

You know whats incredibly scary...when you see the pics scrolling up top and you swear you think you see your ex that left you while you were pregnant...the one ex you truly loved...OMG i thought I was about to pass out...damn him....not sure if it was him but it was waaaayy too close for comfort lol... oh well...

Its been a bad day today if you can't tell... I wold really appreciate it if yall would send me a message or something... idc about points or any of that shit right now... just needing some luv or something...

I'm in a really confusing and just all around crazy place in my life at the moment... I know what I want in life yet at the same time I don't... really confused about people and why they do the things they do... Idk...I'm getting used to being treated like shit by everyone.

I really hate it... Most days are pretty good, will have a lil glimpse at my depression but thats it...then days like today that it becomes like a blanket and wraps me up and doesn't let me go... Days like today that I look into the mirror and see nothing at all...No reflection... I'm not even there. I can feel me, and I know its me, but its the depression and sadness talking and I'm screaming and banging to get out...Times like this that I feel like I'm suffocating , choking on the little air left in my lungs, everything getting darker and fading away. I know how to deal with this monster...I've fought it tooooo many times before... But its hard to find the strength to do it again and again and again... Been fighting it since I was 13... and it almost won when i was 14... But I'm still here. Lol I sound so emo at the moment. But I'll make it...just needed to vent... I really hope that this curse doesn't pass to Chloe'...

Someone has a crush on me! lol sorry i just wanted to say that....lol

Ladies of Texas Contest...I would love to win! Hellllllllllllllllllp me out... http://cherrytap.com/viewimage.php?u=236021&i=1393468151

Being all alone on New Years really sucks...this is a bad day already, but then I have to deal with it alone...

Ugh I am so sick of all this crap... Its like on here, I don't have any worries about being a big girl cuz I get so much support from people on here...and its like, in the real world, people don't mind talking to me and being friends with me, but i'm usually not counted as GF material becuz they all worry about being seen with a fat chick...boo fucking hoo. Why can't I find a guy close to me that likes me for who and what I am? I am not gonna sit here and starve myself cuz i've "got a cute face, but i'd be so pretty if i lost the weight"...you have no idea how many times I have heard that in my life. Wow, I'm 250lbs. I have forced and forced my self to lose weight cuz I thought that maybe a guy will like me if i'm skinny, and then i realized that if a guy really cared, he would like me skinny or fat. But seriously, I'm just sick of this shit against me cuz I'm fat. Fuck.