Thoughts run through my head uncontroled,as i sit here alone I fight with myself.Wondering how i will deal with my fears.I have loved, i have been loved, they have all gone.Still i find myself thinking about a special lady, missing her every breath, every touch, the sweet smell of her hair, the beauty of her smile, i get lost in her eyes.People say you can find that person who makes your heart miss a beat, that person that makes you smile no matter how your feeling, that person that you can sit there for hours as they sleep and just hold them.For a long time i have wondered if that person is real,well she is.Life is a journey we all take,full of ups and downs,loses and gains,we learn,we grow, we become who we are becouse of those turns in our life.We control however what those events in life make us become.I have been guarded for a long time.My biggest fear of caring for someone is it wont be real on thier part, i fear i will be hurt again.I have learned in life we must have faith, take chances, becouse if you do not then you will NEVER find the things that make you just feel good.Make you feel complete.So i am going for a journey and see where it will lead me, i may get hurt or i may spend my life feeling complete.If i do not take the chance then i have decided to not atleast chance the posiablity of the greatest feeling in the world, and just live my life feeling sorry for myself.Well i refuse to sit here and wonder IF.I must see where it takes me.So live life to the fullist everyday,enjoy what you have and if there is some thing or someone that makes you feel good,then fight for it,do not sit back and pitty yourself, and wonder why you can't find what you are looking for.Most of the time people have more control then they realize,the ones who have what they desire are the ones who fight for it everyday.So wish me luck, or just pray, either way i am opening my heart and soul and taking that ride.
