A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis were all sitting around one day talking about how much their lives sucked.
The cucumber said, "Man, my lifesucks. Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone cuts me up and puts me in a salad."
"So," the pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone puts me in vinegar, puts spices on me, and sticks me in a jar."
The penis glared at them both and said, "You guys think you have it rough? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, they put a rubber tarp over my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out."
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There are two girls and a boy.
SHe is standing in a quik-e-mart one day, when the shop is robbed. She is shot three times in the stomach.
The doctor tells her the babies will be fine, but with some odd side effects.
13 years later, she is fixing dinner, and the oldest, a girl, walks in sobbing.
The mother says,"Sweetie, whats wrong?!"
The daughter replies,"I was going to the bathroom and a bullet came out!!!"
the mother tells her there is no need to worry, and sends her on her way.
The next day as the mother is cooking dinner, the second oldest, a girl, walks in sobbing, "Mommy, I was going to the bathroom and a bullet came out!!!"
The mother tells her there is no need to worry and that the same thing had happened to her sister, then sends he on her way.
The next day, the mother is preparing dinner, and her youngest, a boy, walks in sobbing. The mother is prepared for him to do this, so she says,"Honey its ok, I know that you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out, right?"
Her son sobs harder,"NO thats not what happened!"
The mother says," Then why are you crying?!"
Her son replies," I was Jacking off and I shot the dog!!!"
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