London's blog: "Never judge the Cover before looking inside."

In 1996 I attended a sociology class.  The teacher of this class had us write a paper on what Life meant to oursevles.  The following is that paper. But there is only one thing that is different in the paper written compared to the events of my life now,  And I think most of you could figure that out. This may shed some light...

Life: To me, it means...written by London 8-11-1996

Sunday, August 11,1996, I walked to the Fox Theather on Ramsey Street in the town of Banning, California.  The Fox was playing the movie "Jack", starring Robin Williams.  The movie started with the birth of Jack.  Life is birth.

When I was born, my life had begun. As I grew year after year I learnt about emotions, feelings, thoughts, pain and sorrow.  I learnt about right and wrong and the birds and the bees. I learned about English, Math, History, Science and all those other subjects through schooling.  Life is learning.

My life has had been structed by my Parents, Nana, Teacher, Principle, Bosses and Friends.  At times I felt like a computer. Information is inputted.  But because the printer is not hooked up, information is not allowed to be outputted. Leaving information overlapping with other information.  Confused? I am.  Life is confusing.

Is life controlled?  My life is controlled mentally and physically by those who stuctued my life.  Also controlled by the Government, the Public, the Laws and Society. Life is controlled.

Are the such ideas of having set goals?  Most goals are set up to be accomplished by the age 30.  My goals are as followed" 1. a career. 2. a baby. 3. a husband.  4. a home.  I set these goals when I was 18 years old. To this day I have none of these goals accomplished. WHY?...

1. A career is a job that will help you survive day after day.  A career is a retirement plan when you get old. But yet I have no idea what I want to be.

2. A baby? He or she would had been eight years old this year.  But instead, I handed my chance of giving life to a Doctor after fishing the embryo out of a toilet.  Resulting another Doctor telling me, "You will not be able to have children".

3. A husband is someone I would like to love, take care of and spend my last breathe with.  I had a chance of a husband. But he felt, with my qualities, he could find in another woman.

4. A home has been a house, an apartment, a studio, a trailer, a car, a hotel and a room over a restaurant.  Home is where I lay my head to sleep each night.

So, are there such ideas of having set goals?  I don't think so.  Unless I think that life is a goal itself. Life is a goal.

In the movie "Jack", Jack had to write as essay on what he wanted to be when he grew up.  He answered "life".  I agree with Jack.  Life is what YOU want to make it.  Not birth. Not learning. Not confusing. Not contolling. Not a goal.  Or is it birth, learning, confusing, controlling and a goal? Life is what YOU live until death. Therefore, Life is death.

Thank you Mr. Robin Williams (R.I.P.)