542603's blog: "~J's Junk~"

Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. ~Rose Walker

No more endless nights, no more one last drink No more one last dance at his request, No more him of the moment, Those days are long gone the me I once was, the party girl living in a whirl. This life has changed the life I live, I have purpose now set down and I will tell you how I met an angel one day not long ago, she has shown me which way to go She is the light by which I live this angel of mine, changed me so much there is not apart of my heart she doesnt touch No more bad decisions, no more indecisions, no more all about me no more, "Oh, he's cute in his new suit", she comes first this angle of mine, My love, my child, is my heart til the end of time. No more me, no more you, it is us You and I, we, our lives My daughter and me As it should be.

The first moment that I saw her face I knew the past I could erase She changed my life that first day I never knew love could feel this way This stranger who found her way into my life to help me thru my trials and strife My daughter, my love My Angel from above The Angel who made me The Angel who saved me From......Myself.

As the life is seeped out of my heart with ever word that passes from your lying.....despicable mouth....so vile is your heart Why was my time, love, and tenderness wasted on you......I hate the way you made me you made me bitter and cynical...that's not me....I hate this feeling as I watch love die...... Its profound death.....***

When the goodbyes come, the magic of the night fades to reality and the doubt sets in and it cuts like a knife to my heart, so precious and rare are the moments we have like fleeting moments in the dark. My mind wonders to where you go, what you do, who you see, and could we be just for a moment, you and I as one, instead of our fleeting moments in the dark. Could we have more, less, or maybe one last caress before the morning sun comes to slice into the bliss of this, our fleeting moments in the dark. Is there another who holds you when I'm not there, a presence that threatens to leave my heart empty and full of despair, does your heart really care for any of these, our fleeting moments in the dark. Written by Me( Jessica Spearman) on June 28th 2006....steal it if you want but I know I wrote it......